Hearts Aflame
by chocolatequeen
Summary: When he meets a mouse in a darkened alley, that empty spot in his chest burns a little. What could that mean? The movie from Howl's POV.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Hearts Aflame

Rating: K+

Summary: When he meets a mouse in a darkened alley, that empty spot in his chest burns a little. What could that mean?

AN: Again, set solidly in the movie-verse, only pulling a few deeper insights out of the book.

Howl stepped quietly into a quiet alley, away from the bustle of the town's May Day celebration. He glanced over his shoulder, cursing his luck. How had the Witch of the Waste managed to find him here when he worked so hard at not being found? Ah well, he seemed to have eluded her slugs, if only for a moment.

He moved quickly, anxious to put as much space between himself and his pursuers as possible. So intent was he on escape that he almost walked right into someone else's trap.

Looking over his shoulder again, he assured himself that he had time to stop and watch the interesting tableau unfold. A young girl appeared to be looking for a specific building, judging from the way she was studying the paper she held in her hands. She wasn't paying attention to her surroundings, so she nearly walked into the tall, blond soldier standing right in front of her.

"Hey, looks like a little mouse lost its way," the soldier said, leaning into her a little as he spoke. Howl laughed silently at the soldier's ploy, recognizing it as one he had used before.

This girl wasn't one to fall for it though. "Oh. No. I'm not lost," she said, sounding sure of that if not of anything else.

Howl could tell the exact moment she realized there were two soldiers. She shrank back a bit farther, clearly wishing she could be anywhere but there. From the shadows, Howl willed her to have a little pluck. She'd need it to get away from these two.

The first soldier spoke again. "This little mouse looks thirsty. We should take her for a cup of tea."

The girl looked down, and Howl felt alarm for the first time. Had he misjudged her? Was she too meek to take care of two overly friendly soldiers? "No thanks," she said quietly, a hint of a tremor in her voice. "My sister is expecting me."

The second soldier bent down to look her in the eye. She looked up at him, her discomfort written on her face. "Pretty cute for a mouse," he said.

The blond soldier spoke again. "How old are you anyway?" he asked. "Do you live around here?"

Their casual attitude stirred Howl's anger. Every action, every word this girl had spoken made it clear she was not interested in the attentions of two soldiers in the mood for merry-making. Deep in his chest, an empty hollow burned a little and he wanted to jump in and take care of her, but he forced himself to wait. Maybe she'd be able to take care of herself, maybe he wouldn't have to risk his neck for her.

As if she'd sensed his faith in her, the girl took a step back and looked at them angrily. "Leave me alone!" she demanded, her voice firm and steady.

The soldiers looked at each other and laughed a little, making Howl's anger burn a little brighter. "You see?" the first one said. "Your mustache scares all the girls."

His friend's response moved Howl into action. "So? I think she's even cuter when she's scared." He knew then that rather than being put off by her fear, it was spurring them on.

Stepping forward, he lightly wrapped his arm around her shoulder, feeling the burning in his chest again as he did so. "There you are sweetheart," he said smoothly, hoping she'd have the wits to go along with him. "Sorry I'm late; I was looking for you everywhere."

The two soldiers glared at him. "Hey! We're busy here!" the blond told him, getting indignant.

"Were you really?" he asked, now using the silky tone that would have made most men cringe in fear. "It looked to me like the two of you were just leaving." With a few easy hand movements, he had the soldiers on their way, marching back down the alley.

Once they were gone, he could focus on the girl he held. She watched them go, uncertainty on her face, and he knew that she was wondering if her new situation would be any better than the previous one.

He was not a gentle man by nature, but something, some deeper instinct told him to handle her carefully, not with the same cavalier attitude he used on most women. "Don't hold it against them; they're actually not all that bad," he said, feeling gratified when she looked up at him with a little less fear in her eyes. "Where to? I'll be your escort this evening."

He kept his gaze warm and friendly, hoping she'd see he wished her no harm. "Oh. I'm… I'm just going to the bakery," she said, still a bit timid but without fear.

Before they could start off, Howl felt a pricking on the back of his neck. He knew immediately that he'd spent too much time watching his mouse and the two soldiers, though he could not regret rescuing her from their attentions. However, it had given the witch's henchmen time to find him.

Leaning into her, he spoke softly in her ear. "Don't get alarmed, but I'm being followed. Act normal."

He offered her his arm, which she took unhesitatingly, and they set off. For a short while, he wondered if they'd evaded the slugs again, but then he heard the squelching noise as they oozed out of the walls and he felt their immediate presence behind him. "Sorry," he said under his breath. "Looks like you're involved." She gasped and clutched his arm more tightly, and the smoldering feeling in his chest burst into flame.

The witch's henchmen were arriving in droves now, and he knew he had to get her away from there. "This way!" he ordered, pulling her down a side alley. The slugs followed, and more of them appeared in front of them, blocking their path. He felt the panic in the girl by his side, and the burning gave way to a dull ache. There was no way out but up. "Hold on!" he told her, grabbing her tightly by the waist and easily soaring into the air.

Once they were above the rooftops of the town below, he took her gently by the hand. "Now, straighten your legs and start walking," he encouraged her, smiling when she followed his directions, uncertainly at first and then with more confidence.

They walked a bit, letting her get used to the sensation. When he felt her hand loosen its grip on his, he knew she had it. "See? Not so hard, is it?" he asked rhetorically as he moved in the direction of the bakery.

She smiled a bit, even laughing softly, and he felt admiration for her surge up inside him. "You are a natural," he told her quietly, delighting in the pleasure he felt rushing off of her.

A few minutes later, he landed lightly on the railing of the bakery's balcony, and he let her drop softly to the solid floor. "I'll make sure to draw them off, but wait a bit before you head back outside," he cautioned her. It suddenly came home to him that he had given the witch a new target in her war against him.

Sensing none of his apprehension, she simply gazed up at him as if he'd hung the moon, and the feeling his chest roared to life again. "Okay," she said, easily agreeing to what he'd said.

He couldn't help but return the look before pushing off to float gently down the ground. "That's my girl!" he said, not caring for a moment who could hear.

Once he touched the ground, he reached out with his magic to see where the witch's henchmen were. In his mind's eye, he could see them sliding back into her care, and he felt another pang of unease at the information he'd just given away. Pushing it aside, he headed back to the castle. The fearless girl he'd just left at the bakery could surely handle anything, even the Witch of the Waste. Besides, the witch wanted him, not a young girl.

He let himself into his home, unaware for the moment how far off base he was. His only thought was to warm himself by the fire, but Calcifer had other ideas.

"What was that all about?" the fire demon asked, almost harshly, while Howl pulled a chair up to the hearth.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, genuinely clueless.

The fire demon flared in annoyance. "I felt something happen Howl; what was it?"

"Cacifer, I don't know what you're talking about. More clues, please."

"Oh, don't give me that. Your heart, Howl! It was… it was doing something strange. What happened out there?"

Then Howl remembered the burning sensation he'd felt while holding the girl. _Of course Calcifer would know about that,_ he realized ruefully. And with some surprise, he knew he didn't want to explain her to his friend just yet. "Ah, that…" he said, using his best slither-out voice. "That was nothing, Calcifer."

The fire demon sputtered in a way Howl knew signified a snort. "If it was nothing, your heart wouldn't have been skipping and racing like a school child on a Saturday afternoon. Come on Howl, tell Calcifer everything."

Howl raised an eyebrow. "Playing the gossiping woman, Calcifer? I'd have thought that was beneath you."

"Nothing is beneath me when it comes to your heart. You know why I'm interested in that."

Howl's mood sobered. His friend was as tied to the health of his heart as he was. Thanks to the contract they'd entered, if Howl's heart failed, they would both die. "I'm sorry old friend, I almost forgot," he apologized. "I met a girl, that's all."

Calcifer laughed and the fire sparked. "You met a girl? You're always meeting girls, Howl Jenkins."

Under his friend's knowing eye, Howl squirmed a little. His previous experiences with girls were nothing like what had happened this afternoon, and he knew it. Convincing Calcifer of that might be more difficult though.

"This was different," he insisted. "She was different."

"Whoa! She was different? What do you mean?"

"She was… and I… I… felt something when I met her, Calcifer."

"Well I know that, I felt it too. Do you think maybe…"

The question was unasked, but Howl knew what it was anyway. They'd been searching for a way to break their contract for a long time now, and nothing they'd tried had worked. Several attempts had nearly killed them both.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "Maybe… if I ever see her again… and if she'd trust me once she realized I was Horrible Howl who eats the hearts of young girls."

"Only because you don't have one of your own," the fire demon retorted, playing into the legend they'd built up to keep people away from the castle. "So does this paragon have a name?" he asked.

Howl frowned, realizing for the first time that he'd failed to get her name. "I'm sure she does… and next time I see it, I'll be sure to ask her for it."

"Oh, that does us a lot of good. Are you just going to roam the countryside, staring at every girl until you find one that makes your heart burn?"

"I'll know her when I see her," Howl said stubbornly.

Wanting to end the conversation before Calcifer could make anymore snide remarks, he stood up. "Heat some water for my bath, Calcifer," he ordered as he climbed the stairs.

"It's always the same thing," Calcifer muttered. "Heat some water! Move the castle! It's not like I was already doing something else!" he hollered up the stairs, knowing his comment would be ignored. With another grumbled, he directed his energy toward the water, at the same time wondering how they were going to find this girl who might be their last chance.

Disclaimer: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to many people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize comes directly out of the movie. Any dialogue you don't recognize is mine.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Hearts Aflame, 2/3

Rating: K+

Summary: When Calcifer lets an old lady into the castle, will he recognize her for who she is?

AN: Is anyone else having the problem I am with indentions disappearing when you upload files? I apologize for the formatting glitch; trust me when I say the paragraphs are indented in my file.

"Fire demons get no respect," Calcifer grunted as he moved the castle across the waste, as ordered. "I'm big, I'm powerful, and yet he forces me to do menial labor."

He was working himself into a good rant when he realized someone was trying to get into the castle. "Oh no you don't," he muttered, picking up the pace a little. "I do not get paid to let strangers in. Well, I don't get paid, period, but that's a different story. It's a point of pride, no one gets in."

But when he heard a woman's voice calling for him to make up his mind, he slowed. There was something… familiar about the presence he felt outside the door. It was like he'd met her before but… Then he realized what he recognized about her; the rapid beat of Howl's heart when she was near. His mouth widened into a feral grin. "I found her!" he crowed, slowing enough that she could make the leap onto the door step.

"I'm sure Howl won't eat the heart of a shriveled old lady like me," he heard her murmur. Calcifer frowned at what those words implied. Nothing Howl had told him the other night indicated that his mystery woman was elderly; in fact, he'd specifically called her a girl. Yet the woman walking up the stairs was definitely well past the first bloom of youth. If it hadn't been for the way Howl's heart was quick-stepping in his grasp, he would have thought he'd made a mistake—not that he'd ever admit it to anyone else.

There was no mistaking the fast thudding of Howl's heart however. This was definitely the same girl… woman… whatever… that he'd met just the day before. Calcifer watched her surreptitiously from the grate, observing the way she groaned when she took a seat, and the creaking of her old bones. When she stood back up to give him another log, he fell halfway in love with her himself.

He watched her for a few more minutes, trying to find the girl Howl had been so taken with in this old woman in front of him. He almost had it when she said, "Well, one nice thing about getting old is nothing frightens you." Something about the way she said "getting old" tipped him off, and he took a deeper look at her. Yes, there it was—a glimmer of a curse hiding her true age.

He rose from his logs slowly, not wanting to scare her (despite her earlier statement). If this was the girl, it wouldn't do for her to die of shock before she could free him and Howl from their contract. She was almost asleep, so he clicked his tongue to get her attention. "I don't envy you lady," he told her conspiratorially "That is one bad curse. Curses are tough, you're going to have a very hard time getting rid of that one."

Her eyes widened, and she said, "The fire spoke!"

Ignoring that statement of the obvious, Calcifer stayed on topic. If he was right, there might just be a way to break the spell after all. "Let me guess, the curse won't let you talk about it, right?" he asked, letting a few sparks go to show his disgust with the witch who'd done this to her.

The woman leaned forward in her chair, and if he squinted just a little, he could see the pretty girl underneath her wrinkled skin. _Howl's really outdone himself this time,_ he thought admiringly.

Her next words were a bit of a surprise. "Are you Howl?" she asked innocently.

So she really didn't know she'd already met Howl! Oh, this could be fun. He straightened himself up and scowled at her. "No, I'm an extremely powerful fire demon named Calcifer!" An instant later he went back to his regular size. The point was to impress her, not scare her. "I just like to do that once in a while," he said matter-of-factly.

"A fire demon!" she said, leaning even farther forward. "Well then, you should be able to break my curse."

He crackled a little in devious glee—he had her! "Maybe, maybe not," he said, keeping his tone nonchalant. "Listen, you find a way to break the spell that's on me, then I'll break the spell that's on you. You got it?" he asked, laying out the proposal he'd been planning since he'd realized how well her predicament played into his hand.

"If you're a demon, how do I know I can trust you?" she asked, cocking her head to look at him with shrewd eyes. "Do you promise to help me if I help you?"

Calcifer stirred uneasily in the ashes, feeling a little put out that she hadn't jumped for his suggestion. Howl hadn't said anything about his girl wanting promises! He wondered briefly is his friend knew that about her before answering her question. "Eh, I don't know lady… Demons don't make promises," he said evasively, using the tone of voice he'd picked up from years with Howl.

To his chagrin, the woman in front of him gave him a full body shrug before slouching back in her chair. "Then go find someone else," she told him easily.

Someone else? He nearly sputtered in indignation. Didn't she know there was no one else, that there hadn't been anyone else for all the years he'd been with Howl? He hadn't met one person whom he'd even thought could break the spell. He had to convince her to help them somehow, without actually promising to help her… Promises made him nervous.

He flung two flames out as wide as he could in a gesture of appeal. "Come on, you should feel sorry for me," he pleaded. "That spell keeps me stuck in this castle and Howl treats me like I'm his slave, it burns me up!" In an instant, his earlier rant came back to him. "You gotta keep the water hot, the rooms warm, the castle moving…"

He was getting desperate. She was falling asleep, and she hadn't agreed yet. "Ooh, that's rough," she said, her voice gentle but noncommittal.

"Come on, you ever try to move a castle?" he prodded, sighing sparks when she didn't answer. She hadn't given in yet, so there was only one thing left to do. "If you can figure out how to break this… thing I'm in with Howl, then you can break my spell." He crackled a little before offering her what she wanted. "And for that, I can easily break the spell that's on you." There. That wasn't a promise, but hopefully it was close enough to make her happy.

Her eyes were drifting shut, but she managed to answer him. "All right, it's a deal," she said right before she fell asleep.

Despite all his efforts, she would not wake back up. Finally, he settled back into his grate and glared at her. "Some big help you're going to be," he told her, barely resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at her.

He groaned as one last thing occurred to him. "Do I have to tell Howl that his girl is now old enough to be his grandma?"

Disclaimer: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to several people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize is taken directly from the movie, any you don't is mine.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Hearts Aflame, 3/?

Rating: K+

Summary: Frustrated by his inability to find his girl, Howl returns home after a long night to find a strange woman cooking over Calcifer.

Market Chipping was bathed in the translucent light of dawn when Howl gave up for the night. He'd been searching for his mystery girl since the previous evening, to no avail. _I don't understand where she could have gone,_ he thought, a frown creasing his brow. _The town isn't that big._ Lurking in the back of his mind was the possibility that the Witch of the Waste had found her after all and spent her anger at him on the innocent girl.

Despite this thought and his lack of success, there was one thing giving him hope—his vacant heart had been smoldering all night. _Of course it has, I've been thinking about her all night,_ he told himself, rolling his eyes a little. Still, it was some comfort. He knew somehow that if she were completely out of reach, the fire in his heart would go out.

Sighing again, he turned down a dark alley and magically called upon the door of his castle. It appeared in front of him and he walked through absently, his thoughts still on her… and something else he'd felt building throughout the night, a hint of war and unrest in the air. Therefore, it came as little surprise when Markl said, "Master Howl! The king's messengers were here. They said you have to report to the palace as both Pendragon _and_ Jenkins!" It was annoying perhaps, but not a surprise.

What did surprise him was the aroma that greeted him as soon as he walked in. Unless he was mistaken, it was the smell of cooking bacon. He looked over at the hearth, his eyebrows rising when he saw Calcifer docilely bowing his head, allowing a stranger to cook over him. "Calcifer? You're being so obedient," he said, the question clear.

The fire demon showed his face for just a moment, indignation written on every flame. "Not on purpose!" he insisted. "She bullied me!"

Howl shot the stranger a quick glance and froze. The embers in his chest kindled into a blaze, and he knew instantly who the old woman standing in front of him truly was. Looking back at Calcifer, he knew his friend had recognized her as well, or he wouldn't have let her in—or let her cook on him. His mouth quirked up into a half smile. "Not just anybody can do that."

He didn't miss the irony in the situation. The whole time he'd been out looking for her, she'd been sitting in his home. _I think I promised Calcifer I'd get her name the next time I saw her,_ he mused, looking at her again. "And you are… who?" he asked, acting like he'd never seen her before.

She started, and he could tell she'd been hoping he'd go on ignoring her. "Ah, you can just call me Grandma Sophie," she said, a trifle uncertainly. "I'm your new cleaning lady, I just started work today," she then announced boldly.

He had to work to keep his amusement hidden then. Grandma indeed! And just who was he supposed to think had hired a cleaning lady in his absence? Aging 70 years had certainly given her an extra helping of chutzpah. Thinking of the spell on her brought the anger hovering on the edge of his consciousness a trifle closer, but he squelched it for the time being. He'd examine what had been done to her after he'd eaten.

"Give that to me," he ordered Sophie, brusquely pushing her away from the fire. He heard her murmur of distress and felt badly for his manner, but he knew if he didn't do something, he'd lose control. He took the pan from her, the brief contact of his hand on hers calming him tremendously. He was able to be courteous when he spoke again. "Hand me two more slices of that bacon, and six more of those eggs," he requested.

The relative silence while their breakfast cooked gave Howl a few minutes to relish being in her presence and decide how to deal with her sudden arrival in their lives. From her demeanor, three things were obvious: She knew his reputation, she had been unaware that he was the one who had saved her the other night, and she did not want to acknowledge their earlier meeting. From the look of the curse placed on her, she couldn't tell him who she really was, so he'd spare her from trying. He'd just have to try to gain her trust as an old woman, and hopefully when he broke the curse on her, she'd trust him as a young lady as well.

First though, the ridiculous story of her being his new cleaning lady had to be dealt with. He didn't want her feeling like she had to work to be part of his life. "So then. Who hired you to clean?"

"Calcifer did! He's disgusted by how dirty it is in here."

Her expression was so earnest, he almost believed her himself. _Age has made her quite the liar,_ he thought, knowing Calcifer never gave the dust a second glance. "Hmmm…" he said, choosing to let it go for a moment. Besides, breakfast was ready. "Markl! Get the plates!" he ordered before turning around and carrying the skillet over to the table.

"Wait a second!" Calcifer protested. "You're all going to eat while I do all the work??"

Howl ignored him. If he paid attention to Calcifer every time the fire demon complained about something, he'd never get anything else done. Markl did the same, but Sophie seemed hesitant to move. "Come have some breakfast, Sophie," his young apprentice said, inviting her over to the table. "Take a seat."

Howl served the breakfast and surreptitiously watched Sophie as she sat down at his table. She brushed crumbs off the chair and the table, unable to completely hide the distaste she felt. _Maybe I should let her clean,_ he thought, feeling anxious for the first time. _That way it'll be clean enough for her… later._ He poured the tea absently, thinking about what "later" might entail.

He winced when Markl held up the three clean utensils. "Which do you want?" he asked ingenuously. "You only get one because the rest are all dirty." It was the honest truth, but it was not exactly the face he wanted to show Sophie on her first day in his home.

She picked one of the spoons and wiped it off with her fingers, her definition of clean clearly differing from theirs. "Looks like I've got my work cut out for me," she muttered.

Howl cut the bread to hide his embarrassment. "Bread, Markl?" he said, offering the boy the first slice.

"Thanks."

"Sophie?" he said then, speaking to her for the first time since they'd sat down.

"Yes, thank you."

A little more comfortable, he lifted his teacup in a toast. This was, after all, his castle and he'd provided a good breakfast for her. If it was dirty, well that only meant she'd be here for a while cleaning it. Suddenly, the thought of her cleaning cheered him. "So friends, enjoy. Bon appétit," he said, almost jovially.

"Bon appétit!" Markl cheered. "I can't remember the last time we had a real breakfast." The boy dug into his breakfast with more enthusiasm than etiquette, and Howl winced again, sure this would not escape the notice of his new cleaning lady.

Sure enough, she sighed a little and said, "Even the manners are a mess in this house."

Wanting to distract her from all his shortcomings, Howl looked at her and smiled his half smile. "So, what do you have hidden in your pocket, Sophie?" he asked smoothly.

"Huh?" She started at his words and dropped the eggs she was eating. With her left hand, she felt in her pocket. "Oh…" She reached in and pulled it out, her face pulling into a puzzled frown. "What is this?"

Howl knew exactly what it was—a note left by the Witch of the Waste. "Give it to me." His voice was still soft, but it was a command nonetheless and she readily obeyed. When his fingers touched the paper, it ignited, leaving scorch marks on the table.

Markl was visibly impressed by this show of magic. "Scorch marks!" he breathed. "Howl, can you read them?"

Howl had almost blocked out both Markl and Sophie, his attention completely focused on the curse left on his kitchen table. "That is ancient sorcery, and quite powerful too," he said, more to himself than to them.

"It's from the Witch of the Waste?" Markl asked.

He leaned over them, taking in the full meaning of the marks. "You who swallowed a falling star, oh heartless man, your heart shall soon belong to me." Unease welled up inside him. He stretched his hand out and began to wipe the marks from the table, as if that would erase them entirely. "It can't be good for the table," he said, pretending to joke about it while his mind moved a mile a minute, trying to find a way out of the curse that had just been cast.

He noticed then that Sophie and Markl were both watching in amazement, and he felt a quick shot of pride that Sophie had been able to see him as a wizard once again. "Wow! It's gone!" Markl said.

"The mark may be gone, but the spell is still there," Howl said grimly before standing up. "Excuse me, my friends; continue your meal. Calcifer! Move the castle 60 miles to the west." He had lost his appetite, so he shared what was left with Calcifer, partly to make up for what he had just asked. He climbed the stairs quickly, calling one last order down. "And while you're at it, make hot water for my bath."

He barely heard the expected complaint, his brain already working on solving the dual problem of the age spell on Sophie and the curse she'd inadvertently carried to him. The aging spell had a layer to it that panged his chest a little. He couldn't just perform a counter-spell; no, his adversary knew his talents and knew it would take no time if that was all he had to do. The only way to lift the spell on Sophie was for her to be convinced of her own self-worth.

He laughed mirthlessly while he filled the tub with hot water. Apparently, the Witch did not think him capable of doing that. Well, if he was honest he didn't have much experience. He could convince women they were beautiful and make them believe he loved them, but he'd never tried to show a lady how valuable she was. He'd always treated them more like playthings to be discarded when he grew bored with them. She'd miscalculated however. Sophie was not like the other women he'd courted, and he would not get tired of her. He would help her break the spell on her, no matter how long it took.

The curse she'd placed on him was a little more complicated. _Your heart shall soon belong to me…_ His heart, she was always after his heart. In a way, he was lucky he'd given it to Calcifer years ago for safe keeping. It had kept him free of the Witch thus far. She seemed to know about their bargain though, so that might not be able to protect him much longer. _Besides which, I'd like to have my heart back, now that I've found Sophie,_ he thought, the spark in his chest as warm as the bath water he'd submerged himself in.

Howl felt like he was standing on a precipice overlooking a deep abyss with no choice but to jump. The territory he was entering with Sophie was foreign to him, and he didn't know how to navigate it. No amount of magic or spells could tell him what would happen, and that both terrified and exhilarated him. Always before, he'd let his cowardice keep him from crossing uncharted waters, but with Sophie at his side, he felt for once that he could summon the courage to tackle the unknown. With her, he felt like he could be brave… and he wanted to be brave for her.

After long hours of soaking and contemplation, he felt his link to Calcifer weakening. He dressed more quickly than he would have liked and went downstairs, nearly halting in shock at the pristine condition his castle was in. _Sophie works fast,_ he thought, taking in the spotless kitchen and table.

She'd gotten a little too enthusiastic however he realized when he saw the hearth. Calcifer was resting in a small pot beside the grate, which had been cleaned of ashes. Though he appreciated her zeal, he couldn't afford to let his friend go out. He tossed a few logs on the fire and placed Calcifer gently on top of them, lending him a little energy until he blazed warmly once more.

Sophie reentered the castle then, and he chastised her gently. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't torment my friend," he told her quietly. Though she said nothing, he was sure his point had been made, and he walked to the door, turning the dial to black.

"Master Howl, are you going out now?" Markl asked him.

In reply, he simply said, "Markl, make sure the cleaning lady doesn't get carried away while I'm gone," and soared out into the abyss.

AN: I'm in a bit of a quandary here… In the beginning, this was supposed to be a one part fic, with just what was in the first two chapters. Then I decided I wanted to include this scene too, and now I don't know where to stop. It's starting to feel like I'm doing the whole movie from Howl's perspective, which was not my original intent at all. So I'm asking for thoughts and feedback. Where do you want this to go?

Disclaimer: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to several people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize is taken directly from the movie, any you don't is mine.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Hearts Aflame, Chapter Four

Rating: K+/T

Summary: Thoughts of war and innocence tumble through Howl's mind.

AN: I pulled the two country names and a few minor details from the book, everything else is from the movie… including Howl's feelings on war.

_Ingary is usually so beautiful, but not tonight,_ Howl thought as he flew above the countryside. His gaze moved over the burning landscape below, the towns he'd visited many times now being reduced to ashes. His lips tightened in anger. _What does the king think we are gaining from this war?_ No matter what the propoganda said, this was all war ever did for any country.

He rolled his eyes; this war was more ridiculous than most. Using basic deduction and a simple divination spell, he'd determined its cause. The king of neighboring Strangia believed his son had been kidnapped by Ingary. Howl snorted in derision. It was an assumption that had no basis in logic. They had no reason to kidnap foreign princes, and the king had no proof at all that his son had even been kidnapped. But relations between the two countries had been strained for years, and he simply assumed his enemy was to blame.

Howl sighed in frustration. _I had hoped I could use a locator spell to find the prince… if I could find the prince, I wouldn't have to report to Madam Suliman at the palace,_ he thought, shuddering a little. The spell he'd done after leaving the castle had shown him that the prince was indeed in Ingary somewhere. Several times, Howl had thought he was getting close, but each time, something had driven him away. Finally, he'd had to accept that powerful magic was keeping him from succeeding, and he'd turned his attention back to the inferno around him.

The only refuge his mind had from the ugly reality of war was the faint impressions he kept getting of Sophie. Calcifer seemed to be watching her intently, and through his connection with the fire demon, he caught faint glimmers of her mood. She was laughing, she was content… she was safe from the war that would be beating down their doorstep in a few days' time. An overwhelming desire to protect her from what he was seeing washed over him. She was innocent. _And she'll stay that way, if I have anything to say about it, _he thought, his determination surprising even himself.

Just ahead of him, more bombs dropped, pulling his attention back to the more immediate situation. He watched the air ships destroy each other, and wondered if they realized or even cared that they were destroying the cities and towns below them as well. A half-formed idea that he could stop them lurked in the back of his mind, and he weaved his way through the bombs and flames.

As if the enemy had sensed his intent, one of the ships opened its bay doors, releasing a swarm of insect like wizards. Instead of changing his course, he met them head on, flying right through their formation. The confusion that caused gave him the time he needed to activate the door to his castle, and he entered, closing the door shut behind him, with the enemy and the war on the other side.

Once he was safely inside the castle, all the adrenaline drained out of him. He dragged himself wearily over to the chair in front of Calcifer and collapsed into it, putting his feet up on the hearth with a sigh.

The fire demon grunted sympathetically. "Phew! You okay? You smell terrible." He watched, concerned, as Howl painfully changed back into his true form. "You shouldn't keep flying around like that. Soon, you won't be able to turn back into a human," he chided. Howl was too weary to reply to the mild rebuke. In the back of his mind, he knew Calcifer was right, but he couldn't stop right now, not when so much was at stake.

After a moment of silence, Calcifer tried to change the subject. "Isn't this great?" he asked with real enthusiasm. "Sophie put these here for me."

Howl didn't even smile at the mention of Sophie's kindness. Instead, he leaned forward in his chair and began talking, his voice hoarse. "This war is terrible. They've bombed from the southern coast to the northern border. It's all in flames now." He felt something twinge in his chest; a pang of regret, perhaps? He didn't know, he wasn't used to feeling anything. _My heart has certainly been more active since I met Sophie,_ he realized.

"I can't stand the fire and gun powder," Calcifer said in commiseration, putting one flame on the side of the grate and leaning against it. "Those dopey guys have absolutely no manners."

He smiled tiredly then, and his voice was sad when he spoke. "My own kind attacked me today."

That got Calcifer's attention, as he knew it would. "Who? The Witch of the Waste?" he asked, tone apprehensive, and Howl knew why. The last thing they needed was for the Witch to find them here, harboring Sophie. Who knew what her jealousy would drive her to do then?

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Some hack wizards who turned themselves into monsters for the king." _As he will expect me to do if I report as summoned,_ he added silently.

The words were unspoken, but understood by both. Calcifer's expression turned serious. "Those wizards are going to regret doing that," he told Howl slowly. "They'll never change back into humans."

Howl shrugged. "After the war, they won't recall they ever were human," he said, the softness in his voice matching Calcifer's.

His friend's next words surprised him. "Hey, aren't you supposed to report to the king too? Hmmm?"

Didn't he understand that this was the reason why he couldn't? More than a fear of Madam Suliman, it was a fear of what he'd be forced to do if he answered the summons he'd received. Turning into a bird now and again was one thing; he retained control and could change back when he needed to. If he went to the king now, he'd be forced by the agreement he'd signed to follow any order he was given, and he knew the king and Madam Suliman would want to use his bird form to strengthen their own front lines. The sorceress may understand the danger for a wizard to do so for an extended period, but the king wouldn't care, as long as it meant keeping his own palace safe.

_And how is the king's desire to keep his palace safe any different from your refusal to answer his summons to save your own skin?_ For the first time in a while, he was uncomfortable with his own cowardice. He'd never deceived himself into believing that running was a noble act, but somehow, even his old arguments of safety and security seemed childish now. He stood up, changing the subject abruptly to hide his unease. "I'm tired. Make some hot water for my bath."

He started toward the stairs, but changed his mind when he caught sight of the curtain Sophie was sleeping behind. The slight warmth in his chest he had come to associate with her had nearly gone out in his time in battle, and he just needed to see her for a second. _Just for a second,_ he repeated to himself before he slowly pulled the curtain back. His need to see her was so great, he had to take his time, to let the anticipation build.

When he could finally see her, the place she resided in his chest burst into flames. The spell had lifted, even if only for the night, and she was again the young girl he had met on that first evening. Her innocence shone through even more clearly while she slept, and he felt cleansed of all the filth of war. He took a deep breath and smiled a true smile this time. At peace again, he turned away, letting the curtain drop softly back into place before he went upstairs.

**AN: **I will be continuing this throughout the whole movie. The thought is a little overwhelming, as it's more of a project than I had intended at first, but I don't think I could stop now if I tried. I'm having far too much fun getting into Howl's head and figuring out what makes him tick.

Disclaimer: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to several people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize is taken directly from the movie, any you don't is mine.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Hearts Aflame, Chapter Five

Rating: K+

Summary: Someone's having a bad hair day…

AN: You might notice several missing lines of dialogue. That's because Howl's awfully self-absorbed in this scene, and I don't think he registered what everyone was saying. It was also nice to write the scene without feeling like I was "stealing" half of it.

All he wanted was a bath. The fight had left him feeling dirty, and Calcifer's nagging only made it worse. Seeing Sophie had helped for a moment, but as soon as he'd let the curtain fall back into place, the feeling of peace she'd given him had vanished. In fact, as he climbed the stairs he'd started wondering why she'd made him feel better in the first place. Something was changing, and he wasn't sure he liked whatever it was… despite what his heart seemed to be telling him.

The first thing Howl noticed when he went into the bathroom was the cleanliness. _It's almost unnatural how much things shine,_ he thought, looking around at the mirrors and cabinets while he stripped his filthy clothes. The second thing he noticed was that Sophie hadn't only cleaned; she'd also tidied things a bit. The dirty clothes he always left lying around were piled in a laundry basket, and the clean clothes he kept in the bathroom for changing had been folded and placed neatly in a little dresser that had previously been completely covered by the dirty clothes. "Meddling woman," he muttered and rebelliously dropped his dirty clothes onto the floor before he slipped into the tub.

He eased into the soothing bath water, closing his eyes shut against the harsh lights. With a small movement of his hand, he dimmed them slightly. He tried to let his mind relax along with his body, but it wouldn't. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes again with a sigh. There was something unsettling him, and he simply wouldn't be able to relax until he put his finger on it. The slight ache in his chest gave him one clue; whatever it was had something to do with Sophie. "Doesn't everything lately?" he asked himself sarcastically.

The cleaning lady was getting under his skin, and he wasn't at all comfortable with it. No, worse than that. She made him uncomfortable with _himself_, and with his own cowardice. "That's right," he said, slapping the water lightly with his hand. "Since I've met her, I've constantly been sticking my neck out for her. First with those two soldiers, then with the Witch of the Waste, and tonight I was even thinking that I wouldn't let the war touch her. I'm her self-appointed guardian against the world. When did that happen?"

He frowned slightly. If there was one thing Howl prided himself on (beside his wizardry and his handsome appearance), it was his self-protective instincts. They were as much a part of him as the flashy clothing and blond hair. If he didn't have them, anyone could get in. If he didn't have them, he wasn't sure who he was anymore. As if on cue, something clutched in his chest—this time something he was intimately familiar with, fear. A fear of the unknown, of change, gripped him. At the same time, he felt relieved that he had finally figured out what was unsettling him. His nightly bath was supposed to be a time of mindless relaxation, not quiet reflection. Nothing had been as it was supposed to be since he'd first felt that burning feeling he'd come to associate with Sophie. Maybe if he stopped feeling it, things would go back to the way they were supposed to be.

"If I don't like it, I'll simply stop," he told himself, purposely forgetting that the first time his heart had reacted to her had been involuntary. "I'm still myself… I'll just stop," he repeated, leaning back into the still warm water and closing his eyes again. The warm water soothed his aching body, and he drifted off to sleep.

The dream came in flashes, as dreams tend to do. Sophie was in the first few bits, and at first he was irritated that she would intrude on his thoughts even while he was asleep. _Didn't I just decide not to think about her anymore?_ his sleeping mind reminded him. After a few scenes with her, he realized she wasn't alone, and somehow that irritated him even more. _It's the man she's with that's annoying,_ he told himself. He was a short man, certainly not as tall as Howl, and his hairstyle was singularly bad. The cut and style of it didn't suit him at all. Not only that, he seemed to dress to match his hair color. Ignoring the hypocrisy of his criticism, he continued to sneer at the man mentally.

When he woke up, the water was cold and his temper was hot. After all the work he'd gone to purge her from his mind, she still showed up his dreams. The sick feeling the dream left in his stomach only made him more aggravated. He stood up quickly, the tepid water sluicing down his body and dripping onto the floor as he stepped out of the tub and dried himself off with a towel. He wrapped the towel around his waist and then took a good look at his reflection in the now-shiny—_Thanks to Sophie,_ his traitorous mind reminded him—mirrors.

One look sent his mood even farther downhill. His hair looked horrible! It looked almost as bad as the fake golden locks Sophie's boy had sported in his dream! Still staring at his reflection in horror, he reached up to his potions shelf for the bottle he always kept within easy reach. He poured a precise amount of the potion into the palm of his hand and carefully massaged it into his silky hair, making sure he got every strand.

The potion took a few minutes to work, so he washed his hands and dried them on his towel before hanging it up on the rack Sophie had attached to the bathroom wall. Then he guiltily picked up the clothes he'd dropped on the floor earlier and put them in the basket.

A minute later, he regretted his kindness. He glanced in the mirror to see if the potion had finished and froze in shock. Instead of the beautiful blond shade he'd expected, his hair was bright orange! One look at his potions shelf told him why—she'd rearranged everything! Why did she do this? What had he done to make her want to turn his life upside down?

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he screamed and stomped out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He kept screaming as he ran down the hall, his head in his hands. Maybe the screaming would erase the horrific picture he'd just seen in the mirror… but no, he could still see it in his mind's eye, even when he ran into the wall.

Finally he made it to the stairs and he stood at the top and glared down at her, sitting innocently in front of the hearth. "Sophie! You, you sabotaged me!" he accused her. The clueless look she gave him was too much, and he ran down the stairs and stood in front of her. "Look! Look what you've done to my hair," he ordered and shoved the proof of her perfidy in her face. "LOOK!"

She still looked surprised by his attitude, and for a moment he wondered if it hadn't been on purpose after all. Her next words changed her mind. "What a pretty color." No, it must have been purposeful. No one would truly believe orange was a pretty color.

"It's hideous!" he howled. "You completely ruined my magic potions in the bathroom."

When he glared at her again, he saw her take a step back, but before he could feel guilty for scaring her, she straightened her spine and tried speak to him rationally. As if he could be rational at a time like this! "I just organized things, Howl. Nothing's ruined."

"Wrong. Wrong!" He put his face in his hands for a moment again, trying to erase for his mind the awful color his hair had turned. Then he looked back up at her again, once again nearly glaring. "I specifically ordered you not to get carried away," he half-moaned, half-shouted.

The humiliation struck him suddenly. "Now I'm repulsive. I can't live like this," he groaned and sank into the chair Sophie had been sitting in earlier.

"Come on, it's not that bad," Sophie said.

_What part of "it's hideous" did you not understand?_ he wondered spitefully. _There's only one thing I can do redeem this… I hate resorting to this though_. He tuned into his magic and reversed not only this hair dye, but all the ones he'd done before, letting his natural hair color show for the first time in years.

"You should look at it now, it's shaded even better," Sophie said bracingly.

The disgrace was too much. She dared to mock him when he was so clearly in agony? "I give up. I see no point in living if I can't be beautiful," he bemoaned, and then completely let go of his control over his magic. With his emotions holding the reins of his power, the moroseness became darkness, and he felt the change of atmosphere in the room and welcomed it. He was vaguely aware that Calcifer was telling him to stop, and he knew on some level that using magic like this was not a good idea, but right now he couldn't bring himself to care. The thought that Sophie was mocking him hurt more than anything else ever had, even the girl he'd just heard Markl tell Sophie about.

That merely added insult to injury. The last thing he wanted was for Sophie to know that he'd been rejected by a woman before. Who could ever reject the Wizard Howl? Certainly not some country girl who'd decided she'd rather have the solid promise of a simple life with a farmer than live an exciting, if slightly less committed relationship with one of the most powerful wizards in the country. The more he thought about it, the more depressed he became, and he allowed the familiar slime of unpleasant emotions to well up to the surface.

"Now Howl, you're all right. We'll just dye your hair back again. Okay?"

If he'd been less upset, he would have laughed. His hair was only one of his concerns now. He felt Sophie's hand on his shoulder for a moment, then he sensed her step back. Of course she'd step back; he was hideous. He heard her yelling, but didn't register the words, and then he heard the door slam shut. His mood worsened. She'd left, as he'd known she would. If he couldn't keep a country girl, he certainly wouldn't be able to hold the interest of the most fascinating girl he'd met.

His feelings oozed out of him. The frustration he'd felt earlier, the irritation at the strange man in his dream, the embarrassment over his hair color, it all bubbled up and out. He didn't stop it, nor did he want to. Sophie had gone; she'd left him in his moment of need. What else mattered?

And then, miraculously, she was there again. He felt a surge of hope that perhaps she'd returned out of kindness, but then he heard Markl's voice and knew his apprentice had gone after her. She hadn't wanted to come back at all. He felt the two of them push his chair away from the hearth and toward the stairs, but he refused to make it easy for them. If possible, he slouched even farther into his seat, letting his full weight rest against it. Then Sophie placed her arm around him and the shock of it almost pulled him out of his stupor. With some effort, he managed to maintain his boneless slump, forcing her to carry him up the stairs.

"Get the hot water running!" she called up the stairs. Howl wanted to point out to Calcifer that he didn't seem to mind when Sophie asked for hot water, but that would have taken energy.

"Come on, Howl, you can still walk." If her words had sounded more encouraging and less patronizing, he might have helped support his own weight. Instead, he remained fully dependent on her and was wickedly gleeful when his towel slipped off half way up the stairs. After all, if she'd left him downstairs to die like he had wanted to do, this wouldn't have happened.

Of course, he didn't really want to die—decay was dreadfully bad for your looks. When she deposited him in the warm water, he felt something almost akin to gratitude, though he'd never tell her that. He wouldn't have been in this position if it wasn't for her, after all. It was only fair that she help clean him up. In fact, he was going to enjoy getting a bath from the cleaning lady.

"Get him cleaned up, Markl," she said, rudely ruining his fantasy.

"I will," Markl said then started scrubbing.

"No, you won't," he said, coming fully to his senses. His dignity could only handle so many beatings in one day; allowing his young charge to bathe him was simply too much to be borne.

"Master Howl! You're awake again!"

"I've been awake the entire time, Markl. I was simply… er, lost in thought," he said, smiling wryly. _Well, that's one way to put it._

Markl frowned at him. "But you made Sophie carry you up the stairs," he said, his tone slightly accusatory.

Guilt, an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time, crept slowly across his consciousness. "Markl." It was past time to get the boy out of the room.

"Yes, Master Howl?"

"Give me the scrub brush and get out of the bathroom."

"Yes, sir."

Once Markl exited the room, he made quick work of scrubbing himself clean. Now that he was no longer caught up in the emotions that made the slime ooze out of him, it felt revolting against his skin. In a short time, he was slime-free and pulling clean clothes on.

It was not so easy to get rid of the guilt now seeping into his every thought. The face that stared back at him from the mirror now was framed by coal black hair, evidence of what had happened earlier. "Sophie was right," he mused. "It doesn't look half bad." In fact, against the white of his shirt, the dark hair looked… refined. "So why did you throw such a fit about it?" he asked his reflection, but it gave no answer.

In truth, he knew the answer. He'd let his fear run away with him, again. He looked away from the mirror, too ashamed to look himself in the eye. "I am such a coward," he sighed.

AN: I hope that made sense for you. As I watched the movie and pondered things, I realized that something must have happened in Howl's brain in between the very sweet moment when he snuck a peek at Sophie and the not so sweet moment when he's yelling at her from the top of the stairs. Given the next few scenes, I thought it was perfectly logical that his brain caught up with his heart and got scared—it happens to everyone, and it would be even more likely to happen to an admitted coward.

Disclaimer: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to several people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize is taken directly from the movie, any you don't is mine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: Hearts Aflame, chapter 6**

**Summary: Howl's first failure at making Sophie understand her worth**

Howl lay in his bed, his eyes closed. Except for the slight whirring of the wizardly baubles hanging from the ceiling, the room was quiet. It provided the perfect backdrop to his frenetic thoughts. The afternoon played on the screen in his mind without mercy. Shame warred with fear, both vying for supremacy. First he was filled with disgust at his self-pity and cowardice, and then he remembered that he still had to report to the palace… _And who knows exactly what Madam Suliman wants with me?_ he thought darkly. He knew his old teacher well enough to know that any summons from her should be accepted cautiously.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. "Howl, I'm coming in," Sophie told him clearly.

_And Sophie is still on my mind too,_ he thought, unable to look at her when she opened the door and walked into his room.

"I brought you some warm milk, want a sip?" Something inside him clenched at her offer. How long had it been since anyone had taken care of him? Why would Sophie want to after the way he'd treated her earlier? He couldn't just ignore her, and yet he wasn't ready to speak yet. Instead, he simply shook his head. He could hear her set it down on the table by his bed, and then she said, "I'll leave it here for you then. Try to drink it before it gets cold."

That soft, caring command broke down his last wall. He felt the warmth in his chest spread for the first time all day, and he called out to her before she could leave. "Sophie, wait."

He listened to her movements as the door shut and she walked back over and sat down at his bedside. "Do you want some milk?" she asked.

He shook his head again and would have smiled at her persistence, but before he could, one of his alarms went off and his eyes opened in fear. "The Witch of the Waste is trying to find my castle!" he gasped.

She looked up at it and back at him, comprehension showing on her face. "Oh! I saw her henchman at the harbor!"

The fear that coursed through him at that statement disgusted him. "I'm such a big coward, all I do is hide," he sighed and turned his face away from Sophie. For a fleeting moment, he wondered why he was being so honest with her, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. "And all this magic is just to keep everyone away. I can't stand how scared I am."

"Howl, why is the Witch of the Waste trying to hunt you down?"

Normally, he would have evaded a question so personal, but her artlessness pierced all of his defenses. "She was once quite beautiful, so I decided to pursue her. Then I realized she wasn't, so as usual, I ran away." He half-closed his eyes and remembered the moment he'd learned what she was truly like, and that all her beauty was only a façade.

Memories of the witch turned his mind back to their teacher, Madam Suliman. "I can't run much longer though, I have to report to the palace… as both Pendragon _and_ Jenkins."

"How many aliases do you have, anyway?" she asked curiously.

"As many as I need to keep my freedom." _Just another sign of my cowardice,_ he thought and winced a bit. Sophie was certainly learning more about him this afternoon than he wanted her to know!

But she just hmmm'd thoughtfully and then said, "Just refuse the king's invitation," as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

In reply, he pointed to a parchment pinned to the wall behind him. "See that? That's the oath I took when I entered the royal sorcery academy. I must report to the palace whenever summoned."

Sophie was not deterred however. "You know Howl; I think you should see the king!"

All the warm thoughts he'd had toward her in the last few minutes disappeared. She couldn't possibly understand if she'd suggest that! "What?" he asked in disbelief, taking in her earnest expression.

"Give him a piece of your mind!" she encouraged. "Tell him that this war is pointless and you refuse to take part, huh?"

If he'd had a heart, it would have been aching then. She was trying so hard to help, but in her innocence she didn't understand the impossibility of what she was suggesting. "You obviously don't know what these people are like," he said on a sigh. The king was set on the war, there would be no stopping him. _And there's no way I can get out of my summons,_ he realized, finally accepting the truth.

"But he's our king! He should want to hear what all his citizens have to say," she insisted.

When asked later, Howl would never be able to fully explain where his next idea came from. Perhaps it was something in her earnest desire to help him… he suddenly knew a way to get rid of the king, and to show how much he valued Sophie. After all, no one else could do what he was going to ask her to do. He sat bolt upright in bed and looked over at Sophie with excitement. "I've got it! Why don't you go to the palace for me!" he proposed. The look of stunned confusion on Sophie's face didn't faze him. He leaned toward her a bit and continued with his grand plan. "Just say that you're Pendragon's mother, and that your son is such a cowardly wizard, he's too afraid to show his face. Maybe then Madam Suliman will finally give up on me!"

"Who's Madam Suliman?"

Some dim part of his brain registered that Sophie was leaning as far back from him as she could without falling over, and he reined himself in. "She's the king's head sorceress," he said, managing to control the enthusiasm in his voice. It wasn't difficult; thoughts of his former teacher were usually enough to sober him up.

He looked his cleaning lady over with a critical eye. He could see through her spell so easily, he hardly saw the veneer of age anymore. She looked almost perfect, but they'd have to do something about her dress if Madam Suliman was to take her seriously. Everyone in Kingsbury knew that the Wizard Pendragon would never let his mother out of the house in such shabby clothes. "You won't be able to go the palace dressed like that," he commented absentmindedly, already working out the slight changes in his mind.

"What's wrong with my dress?"

He didn't answer, instead he merely tilted his head to the right, picturing the dress as it ought to be and waving his hand slightly. "Yes, like that… that ought to work," he said, pleased with his work.

"What ought to work?" she asked, and he could hear the slight note of impatience in her voice this time. "What did you just do, Howl?"

"Why don't you look in a mirror?" he suggested, pointing to the one standing in the corner of his room.

She walked slowly to stand in front of it and he waited to hear her gratitude. Her dress really looked much better than before. Of course, he hadn't changed much—brightened the faded color, freshened up the lace, updated the style just a tad—but it was the little things that made all the difference really. He prepared to brush off her thanks with a simple, "It was nothing, really… I just wanted to thank you for all you do."

He wasn't prepared for the stubborn set of her shoulders or her bland tone when she said, "I see. So now I'm ready to visit the palace?"

_Maybe she's just overwhelmed,_ he postulated. "I think so," he said aloud. "I'll walk you to the door." He stood up and wrapped a blanket around himself and they walked together to the stairs.

Halfway down, he thought he heard her say something. "What was that, Sophie?" he asked.

"Nothing, Howl," she said, her tone as mulish as the slant of her jaw. He followed her over to the hearth and watched in confusion when she put her old hat on.

"You're wearing that hat? After all the magic I used to make your dress pretty?" Didn't women like pretty things? He could make her a hat to go with the dress, didn't she understand that? But she didn't seem to want one. He noticed the angry glint in her eye and concluded there were some things he'd never understand about women.

"Take care of him, Markl," she ordered, and he couldn't help but be slightly insulted by her brusque tone. Maybe he'd gotten something wrong, but he'd been trying to help. And he could take care of himself, thank you!

"Good luck!" he called after her as she marched toward the door.

Part of him wanted to let her walk out and see how well she could do on her own, but that flame in his chest burned a little bit brighter and he knew he couldn't do that to her. He chased her down the stairs, catching her just before she opened the door. He held it shut with one hand and with the other, he slipped one of his matching rings over her finger.

"This charm will guarantee your safe return," he told her softly, willing her to understand that her safety mattered more to him than anything that might happen with Madam Suliman. The look on her face gave him a glimmer of hope, and he continued. "Don't worry; I'll follow behind you in disguise. Now, off you go." Then he opened the door himself and watched her leave.

Disclaimer: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to several people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize is taken directly from the movie, any you don't is mine.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: **_Hearts Aflame, chapter 7_

**Summary: **AfterSophie leaves to talk to Madam Suliman, Calcifer rakes Howl over the coals for his thoughtless treatment of the only one who can save them.

**AN: **This is the chapter you've all been waiting for… one with little or no dialogue stolen from the movie. That's why it took me a bit longer to get it written, so I hope it was worth the wait.

And thank you to the 35 people who have this story on their alerts list. That's a huge compliment, and it means a lot to me.

Howl didn't shut the door until Sophie's figure disappeared into the crowd of people on the busy Kingsbury street. Then he turned around and walked back up the stairs, stifling a yawn. _I've spent most of the day either in bed or feeling sorry for myself,_ he thought. _I'm not going to lie down again. Besides, I promised Sophie I'd follow her._ The chair in front of the fireplace seemed to call his name though… _Maybe I'll just sit for a bit. Then I'll change into my disguise. I want to give her a head start anyway._

He sat down and put his feet up on the hearth with a smile. He knew exactly what disguise he was going to use, and he'd have great fun doing it. He could imagine the reaction he'd get from both Madam Suliman and Sophie when he walked into her solarium posing as the king, and it gave him great pleasure.

"Have you figured it out?" Calcifer asked, breaking the silence

"Figured what out, Calcifer?" he asked absently, his mind still fleshing out the glamour spell he'd use to impersonate the king.

That was apparently the wrong thing to ask. The fire demon sparked and spat out the answer. "How to break the curse on her!"

Howl glared at Calcifer and then looked pointedly at Markl, who was trying not to look like he was listening. "Markl, why don't you go on up to your room?" he suggested. "Calcifer and I have some things to talk about, it seems."

"Yes, Master Howl," Markl said, not bothering to hide his disappointment.

Once he was safely upstairs and out of earshot, Howl turned back to Calcifer. "There are some things Markl doesn't need to know," he said, the rebuke clear even though his tone was mild.

"Right, fine, whatever," Calcifer said in his standard indifferent manner. "Now answer the question, Howl. Have you figured out how to break the curse?"

Howl laughed at the fire demon's one track mind. "Don't worry, old friend. I have it well in hand."

"Good. I'm tired of being tied to this hearth. Now tell me what it is."

Howl leaned back in his chair, his mind picking the best way to describe Sophie's curse. "She has to feel valuable… no, it's more than that. She has to _believe_ she's worthy of…" He let the thought dangle, not sure of the right word to finish it.

"Worthy of love," Calcifer said.

He opened his mind to the concept for the first time, mulling it over and pondering its accuracy. "Yes, of love," he said finally, sensing that was the answer.

To his surprise, Calcifer crossed two flame arms in front of him and rolled his eyes. "And you say you have it well in hand? You sure know how to handle a woman," he said sarcastically.

That comment hit deep—he was the Wizard Howl, of course he knew how to handle a woman! "What are you talking about?"

"I'm a fire demon, and I'm more sensitive than you!"

Howl had about had it with the cold attitude he'd gotten from his friends all afternoon. He knew Sophie had reason to be upset with him, but she'd forgiven him. _If she can, why can't Calcifer?_ "I'm still not following, Calcifer."

He was more than a little put out when the fire demon rolled his eyes again, but he made himself listen to what he had to say. "You're supposed to make her feel valuable, right?"

"Right."

"Like she deserves to be loved?"

Howl rolled his eyes; this was getting a bit ridiculous. "Right."

"Like she doesn't need to change anything, because she's perfect just the way she is?"

"You're starting to sound like that gossiping old woman again, Calcifer."

Calcifer settled down on his smoldering ashes and shot Howl a look of pure contempt. "Hey, I'm just trying to help. You didn't hear what Sophie said when she picked her hat up."

A trickle of unease flickered in Howl's mind, but he shoved it away. "All right, Mr. Busybody, what did she say?"

Calcifer pitched his voice to match Sophie's. "I should have known I wouldn't be good enough for him."

He sat up straight in his chair, feeling like someone had just dumped a full bucket of cold water on him. "But where would she have gotten that idea?"

"Oh, I don't know," Calcifer said, censure dripping from his every word, "maybe from the way you offered to change everything about her appearance before she visited Madam Suliman?"

"But I was just trying to help!"

"Did she ask for your help?"

"Calcifer, you saw her dress. Madam Suliman would never have received her in that old thing," Howl said, his tone pleading as he begged his friend to agree with him.

"Did you think of telling her that?" Howl shifted in his seat and focused his attention on the hearthstones. "Sheesh! And you were supposedly such a lady killer," Calcifer said mockingly, sparking a bit and shooting flames up into the air. "Well, at least you did one thing right."

"What's that?"

"Giving her that ring, though of course you didn't tell her what it really does."

Howl reflexively felt his strangely bare finger; he'd worn that ring constantly for over ten years. It was his link to his heart, the way he kept tabs on how Calcifer was doing, and it was how he could feel what was happening to his heart, even when he wasn't anywhere near Calcifer. "I'm not ready to tell her that yet," he said, the excuse sounding lame even to him.

"Well don't wait too long, Lover Boy. Between the Witch of the Waste and Madam Suliman, we don't exactly have all the time in the world." Before Howl could argue or cede the point, Calcifer continued. "And speaking of Madam Suliman, don't you have someplace you need to be right now?"

With a start, Howl realized more time had passed than he'd thought. "Sophie must be almost to the palace by now," he said and stood up quickly. _I promised I'd be there,_ he chastised himself as he took the stairs two at a time, the unfamiliar pang of conscience giving him speed.

In the bathroom, he forced himself to focus on what he was doing. Glamours weren't difficult spells, but he wouldn't want to get distracted and end up looking half like the king and half like his own perfect self. He closed his eyes and concentrated, and when he opened them again, he was staring at the king's own reflection. "Perfect," he said, noticing with a smirk that he could even make his voice sound like their sovereign. He marched down the stairs and to the door, tossing a quick, "Bye, Calcifer!" over his shoulder as he stepped out onto the street.

Overhead, one of the small aircraft used by the soldiers flew by, carrying a load of laughing soldiers and their women. A small smile crept across Howl's face. He scanned the street and soon found what he was looking for: an abandoned aircraft, her owner clearly paying more attention to the girl he was talking to. It was an easy thing to slip through the crowd and start it magically. He was in the air and gone before the soldier even realized he was there.

The familiar feeling of flying melded with the new sensation of wind in his hair. Unbidden, the picture he'd had days before of standing on the edge of a precipice came back to him, and he knew he was soaring off it now. Even without his ring, he could feel the smoldering in his chest leap into full flames that he knew would never go out.

**Disclaimer**: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to several people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize is taken directly from the movie, any you don't is mine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: **_Hearts Aflame, chapter 8_

**Summary: **Howl keeps his promise to follow right behind Sophie

The small craft landed gently on the grass behind the palace, and Howl jumped out of it, his mind focused on what he was about to do. In a few short steps, he completely assumed the king's arrogant, devil-may-care attitude and walked into the solarium as if he owned the place.

"Your Majesty." The slight smirk on Madam Suliman's face made him suspicious that he hadn't completely fooled his old teacher.

"As you were," he said diffidently. Without thinking he then asked, "So then, how are you feeling?" He winced as soon as the words left his mouth, knowing the king would never be that solicitous, but his good manners simply wouldn't let him ignore her.

Her smirk deepened. "I'm fine, thank you."

"Thought I'd drop by, rather than sit through a dull war meeting," he said, hoping to draw the attention away from his uncharacteristic behavior.

"What an honor," she said dryly.

Finally, he gave it up as a lost cause. He hadn't needed to fool Madam Suliman anyway, he'd only needed to gain entrance to the palace so that he could get Sophie out, and he'd done that. He turned to her, noticing for the first time that there was someone else in the room with them. He recoiled slightly when he saw that it was the Witch of the Waste, showing her true self for once. "Who are your guests?" he asked, pretending he didn't know either one of them.

"This is Howl's mother, Mrs. Pendragon."

There was a challenge in her voice that he recognized immediately, but he refused to answer it. Instead, he walked over to Sophie, who surprised him by looking him almost directly in the eye and then dropping an acceptable curtsy.

An idea came to him then, one that would show his hand completely. _But maybe Sophie's right,_ he thought. _Maybe I need to tell someone how wrong I think this war is._ Gathering his courage, he looked at Sophie and said, "Thanks for coming, but I've decided not to use magic to win this war." He saw her eyes widen, and he continued. "We have tried using Madam Suliman's magic to shield our palace from the enemy's bombs, but the bombs fall on civilian homes instead." Unbidden, images from his night flight came to him—the burning houses, the lost lives. "That's the problem with magic, right Suliman?" he finished, looking at her over his shoulder.

She was almost laughing at him when she answered. "You're so eloquent today, Your Majesty."

At that point, Howl was prepared for her to call for guards, challenge him herself, ask him to show his true identity… anything but what actually happened. "Suliman!" a man exclaimed as he entered the room. _The king!_ Howl realized desperately, glancing over at Sophie. From the expression on her face, she'd just recognized that it was he, not the king, to whom she had curtsied earlier.

As if in a trance, they watched together while he strode over to Madam Suliman, waving a piece of paper like a banner. "I've got a new battle plan!" he declared jubilantly. "This time we're gonna beat 'em to a pulp!"

"_And who will you have left to rule, if you keep running the war this way?" _Howl wanted to shout at him. He stopped himself though, hoping against hope that the other man would leave the room before he was noticed. But as the king turned to leave Suliman's sanctuary, he caught sight of him and laughed. "Suliman, that's the best double you've made of me yet! Keep up the good work," he ordered good-naturedly.

"Your Majesty," Madam Suliman said, acknowledging the compliment with a slight bow of her head and a sardonic look at Howl.

Howl watched, slack-jawed, as the king left the room, giving orders to a page. "Get my generals assembled," he said, and the page quickly went to do his bidding.

"So nice to see you again, Howl," Suliman said, drawing his attention back to her and his purpose for being here.

He bowed as he had been taught and said, "You're looking well, Madam Suliman."

"Rather weak disguise, didn't I teach you better?" she asked off-handedly.

He was instantly on his guard—Madam Suliman didn't do anything off-handedly. Her every word always had a purpose. _What's she up to?_ "I'm not trying to outwit you," he said cautiously. Releasing the glamour, he stepped back and pulled Sophie close to him. A burst of relief rushed through him when he felt her securely under his arm. "I kept my oath, I reported when summoned—now "Mother" and I will go."

"I'm afraid not," she said, and for the first time he noticed a strange gleam in her eye. He readied himself for whatever she would do, tightening his grip on Sophie. The sorceress tapped the floor with her staff, and an ocean appeared around both him and Sophie, then quickly fading into a beautiful day at sunset, leaving them hanging in the sky.

Even though he knew it was just an illusion, it felt real, and he knew it would be even more real for Sophie, who didn't know the truth. "Now whatever you do, don't look down," he told her.

"It's time to show your mother who you really are, Howl," Madam Suliman said, and he could hear in her voice what he had seen earlier in her eyes—triumph. _She thinks she has me,_ he realized. _And perhaps she does, because she seems to know how I feel about Sophie… but she's overplaying her hand. Can I use that against her?_

Before he could think any further, the imaginary sun set and stars began to appear in the night sky. When the shooting stars blazed to the earth around them, catching things on fire, he knew exactly what his adversary was planning—knew, but was helpless to stop it. He watched as a group of the fire demons surrounded them and started singing. He could feel the change coming over him and he clutched Sophie like a talisman against evil, but it didn't work. His hands turned into talons and his wings tore through his jacket.

What made him fight the hardest though was the change he could sense in his mind. His normal, human concerns were being swept away, leaving only an animalistic urge to kill his prey—Madam Suliman. But before he could, Sophie stepped in front of him and shouted his name. "Stop Howl, it's a trap!"

His mind cleared enough to wrap both his arms around her and soared into the air, through the glass ceiling above. That broke the spell Suliman had tried to place on him. He drifted down to earth and landed them all on the aircraft. "Hold on!" he said and started the engine, flying away before any of the guards could reach them.

A plan was forming in his mind. "Sophie, sit up here!" While she shifted into the pilot's seat, he glanced at their other two passengers. "Did you have to bring those two with you?" he almost groaned.

Sophie looked back too, and the witch smiled beguilingly and said, "Nice doggy." _If I hadn't heard it myself, I wouldn't believe it,_ Howl thought. _What did Suliman do to her?_ A shiver ran down his spine when he realized that if it weren't for Sophie, he'd be in the same spot right now.

With effort, he pulled himself back to the task at hand. "Sophie, take the wheel."

"What?? I can't fly, are you kidding?" Her response was exactly what he'd expected, but they didn't have time for her reluctance. Without her realizing it, he maneuvered their hands so that she was holding the wheel and he was merely correcting their course.

"They're gaining on us," he told her quietly. They both looked back, and he leaned in a little closer to her. "I'll distract them. Then you can fly this thing back to my castle in the waste."

"How?" she asked. "I don't know the way." She didn't look at him when she answered, her eyes focused on where they were going. He half-smiled, she was getting the hang of flying faster than he'd expected.

"Hey, don't worry. The ring I gave you will guide you back home. All you have to do is summon Calcifer with your heart." His own matching ring glinted in the sunlight, mocking his half-truth.

He didn't expect what happened next. A little doubtful, Sophie glanced down at the ring and said, "Calcifer?" He almost missed the starburst, so strong was the pull of his own heart. It was an aching, a deep longing that tugged him closer to Sophie.

Sophie's next words broke through his haze. "It's glowing," she said, her voice full of wonder.

Howl didn't need her to tell him that, he could feel the burning deep in his chest. "Just keep following that light and you should be there before dark," he told her, forcing the confusion out of his voice.

She scowled up at him. "I can't do this! Why'd you make me come here if you were coming yourself?"

"Knowing you'd be there gave me the courage to show up," he told her honestly. "That woman terrifies me, I can't face her by myself." Then he leaned closer yet and whispered the full truth in her ear. "You saved me Sophie. I was in big trouble back there."

He wanted to stay here with her; the pull of the ring and of her was strong. He knew though that if they were ever going to evade the guards still chasing them, they'd have to split up._ First to see if she can handle flying this thing though,_ he thought, knowing he'd never leave her otherwise. He stood and stepped back, removing his hands completely from the wheel.

Her reaction was instantaneous. "Ooh, don't let go!" she shrieked, yanking hard on the wheel.

Howl braced himself as the craft canted sharply to the right, sending them straight through a bell tower. When they were safely on the other side, he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. _Well, I think we lost a few of our pursuers with that little maneuver,_ he thought in good humor. _And maybe this is a good time to make her feel valuable…_ "Wow, you're good," he told her honestly, shaking his head a little in admiration.

"Are you nuts?" she countered, clearly not convinced.

He ignored this, looking behind him to see how closely they were being followed. "We've got a good lead now," he said, readying himself for the magic he was about to use. He bent down next to Sophie again. _Just so she can hear me,_ he told himself. "I can give you five minutes of invisibility. Use it wisely." Then he straightened up and put his arm out to his right, casting the spell that split them up.

He could see her panicked expression when she realized she could see through her own hands. "Ooh, Howl!" she cried out.

All he could do was salute. "Good luck!" he told her, feeling a sharp pang in his heart when she veered off to the left, following the light from the ring. So strong was the urge to follow that he had to look away for a moment to regain his senses. "I won't do her any good if I lead the king's guards right to the castle," he muttered, settling himself in to do the job he had to do.

**Disclaimer**: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to several people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize is taken directly from the movie, any you don't is mine.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:**_ Hearts Aflame, chapter 9_

**Summary:** Howl has successfully evaded the guards and returned to the castle. Sophie is safely asleep and dreaming, so he wanders upstairs to take a bath and drifts off to sleep himself…

**Thank yous:** To all my readers and reviewers. Over 300 hits per chapter… that's just amazing. And as I type this, I have exactly 100 reviews. I can't even tell you how much that means to me, or how much it motivates me to keep working on this story. I have some other things going, but they're not nearly as rewarding as this. Thank you very much.

It was well after dark when Howl got home. Though he was sure that he would have known if anything had happened to Sophie, relief still washed over him when he saw the two ladies, one young, one old, asleep side by side on cots in his living room. _I can't believe the Witch of the Waste is in my castle, after all the work I've done to keep her away,_ he thought, not without some amusement.

"You look terrible, Howl Jenkins."

Howl blinked blearily. As late as it was, he had expected all the members of his household to be asleep. "Calcifer?"

"You know someone else who lives in the fireplace?"

"What do you want this time?" It had been a long day and he was tired; the last thing he wanted was another round of questions from Calcifer.

The fire demon seemed to sense this, for his tone was much milder when he spoke again. "Did you learn anything new today?"

Howl's tired face stretched into a smile. "I did. I have a surprise ready for Sophie in the morning."

He waited a second; it didn't take long. "And what might that be?"

"Ah, you'll just have to wait a find out with the rest," he said, smirking when his friend sputtered in protest. "Just be prepared to move the castle."

Calcifer shifted uneasily over the coals. "Are you sure you want to do that?" he questioned. "I like my hearth right where it is. We've never tried to move before, who knows what will happen?"

"Don't worry, Calcifer," Howl said, smiling reassuringly. "You'll be fine. I know what I'm doing."

Before Calcifer could give a smart rejoinder to that, a soft sound from the cots drew both of their attention. Howl watched Sophie roll over and mumble in her sleep, noticing the covers slipping down around her slim waist. An emotion he was not familiar with overtook him, causing Calcifer's fire to burn warmer, though not any brighter. He quietly stepped toward the cots, picked the blanket up off the floor, and gently wrapped it back up around her shoulders.

He looked between the two women then, and the irony of Sophie sleeping beside the witch who had cursed her struck him, as did the tremendous mercy Sophie had shown in the way she'd treated the now benign witch. _I would never have taken her in the way Sophie did,_ he realized. _And if she can be so forgiving of someone who's hurt her, maybe she'll understand… accept who I really am._

He watched her roll over again in her sleep, her lips shaping words he couldn't quite make out. Curiosity got the better of him, and he leaned closer so he could hear her. "Howl's home…" she mumbled.

Another emotion swept over him, this time one he recognized—shock. The possibility that she might be dreaming about him had never crossed his mind, yet here was proof. He straightened slowly, his eyes never leaving her. He took in the slight smile and the wrinkle between her eyebrows, a sure sign that she was trying to figure something out.

Part of him wanted to stay right where he was, just to hear anything else she might say, but instead, he surprised even himself by turning away from her and moving toward the stairs. "Calcifer, heat some water for my bath," he ordered absently as he climbed to the second floor.

The familiar routine of running his bath and preparing all of his beauty products kept his mind occupied for a few minutes, but once he had eased his aching body into the hot water, there was nothing else to distract him. _Sophie was dreaming about me. What was I doing in her dream? She didn't seem upset with me… I wonder if I could make her happy…_

He remembered then the news he hadn't told Calcifer—news that would hopefully make Sophie very happy. He'd found out who Sophie really was, and he was going to take her home the next day. After he'd evaded his pursuers, he'd found himself drifting toward Market Chipping. The possibility of learning more about Sophie had never really left his thoughts, so he'd prudently left the aircraft behind and used a transport spell to put himself on the outskirts of town. Once he was there, it had only taken a minimal amount of detective work to gain the information he wanted. Market Chipping was a small town, and Sophie was the only girl who was missing.

Under the guise of curiosity, he'd wandered by the old hat shop where his Sophie had lived and worked. As luck would have it, it was up for sale, the previous owner having recently remarried. After the day's events, he knew the castle needed to be moved, and what would be better than returning to Sophie's old home? He'd bought the place on the spot, only taking a tour of it after he'd already paid for it in gold.

He had recognized Sophie's old room in a flash—it was the smallest room in the house, with very few decorative frills. It was exactly where his quiet, unassuming little cleaning lady would choose to closet herself away from the world. She wouldn't think she deserved anything better. He knew she did, however, and he had plans to give it to her when he redecorated the castle the next day…

With a slight smile on his face, Howl closed his eyes and allowed himself to think of all the ways she might thank him for his generosity. The warmth of the water and the comfortable thoughts slowly lulled him to sleep.

He watched with a smile as Sophie slowly turned in the middle of the main room, taking in the familiar surroundings. A deep feeling he recognized as contentment swelled up inside him when she rushed to the window to watch the train roll by, smoke billowing from the engine. When it had passed, she turned to him, her jaw slack. "I don't understand," she said, her hands clasping and unclasping in front of her. "How… why…"

He chose not to answer her questions, leading her instead into the room he had designed specifically for her. "I added this room for you," he told her quietly, watching again while she explored every inch of the beautiful bedroom. The large tester bed and matching dresser dominated the space, but there was still plenty of room to move about. He waited impatiently for her to notice the boxes at the foot of the bed, full of the pretty gowns and fripperies she deserved.

But before she could open them, he remembered her reaction to the few changes he'd made to her dress, and he was suddenly unsure she would understand what all this meant… especially if she saw the dresses first. More than anything, he wanted to break her curse, not just so she could help him, but because he wanted her to be happy again. "Come with me," he requested, taking her hand and pulling her to the door. "There's something more I want to show you."

"More?" she echoed, laughing breathlessly. "Howl, this is more than I've ever been given in my life."

He smiled secretly to himself before pointing to the dial. "I've added a new portal," he told her, turning the knob to magenta and opening it. Her eyes widened, and he took both her hands and led her out into the open meadow. "Do you like it?" he asked, somewhat anxiously. "It's a present for you."

She dropped his hands and brought hers up to her chest, turning a full circle to take it all in. "It's gorgeous, Howl!" she exclaimed, and her voice was her own, not that of her 80 year old self. After another moment, her feet finally started moving. Howl took her arm in his and walked with her. She commented on every flower and butterfly, and he found himself enjoying the serene beauty of his private sanctuary even more through her eyes.

And if his eyes did not deceive him, she was starting to understand what all this might mean. Her voice was already free of the curse, and he thought that she was standing a little straighter as well. Finally, they came to a stop in front of the large lake and she turned to him, her heart in her eyes, and he could tell that he was right. The curse was nearly gone.

"Howl, this is the most wonderful present anyone has ever given me. I have to ask… Why me?"

He hesitated just a moment before answering, wanting to get this right. "Because you deserve it, Sophie. You're worth all this and more." He watched her rheumy eyes clear up and her braid lengthen. "There's nothing in the world that you don't deserve, but all I have to give is myself… if that's enough."

She stared at him for a bare moment before flinging herself into his arms. He buried his face in her sable hair, hardly able to believe it when she whispered, "That's more than enough, you silly man."

Gradually, Howl became aware that the water he was reclining in had grown tepid. Judging from the angle of the sunlight streaming through the window high on the wall, it was late morning. He knew he should get up and start on the day's work, but shock kept him from moving. He, Howl Jenkins, was in love. Really, it was quite a lot for a man without a heart to take in.

**AN 1:** Hopefully you could tell that the whole scene there after he fell asleep was a dream. I decided if she could dream, and in dreaming admit to herself how she feels about him, he could do the same. It fits very well with his suddenly chipper attitude the next morning, for one thing. So please, don't review to tell me that I got the whole scene where Howl shows her the house wrong. Rest assured, I'll do that scene justice. ;)

**AN 2: **I've received a few reviews asking how I'm going to explain the scene when Sophie goes into Howl's childhood and tells him to "find her in the future." I will only say that I have a Plan, one that I hope will make sense when I share it with you. I believe it will not only explain how Howl managed to find her, despite the physical state he was in; it should also explain why the ring fractured into nothingness. To give you a hint, it involves something known as a temporal paradox.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: **_Hearts Aflame, Chapter 10_

**Summary: **It's moving day!

The emotions he was feeling were so new to him, and yet they'd been there since Sophie had first appeared in his life. The peace he felt when she was near, the worry when she was in danger… that almost uncomfortable way she made the hole in his heart burn, it was all love. _I'm in love with Sophie._

Slowly, another thought occurred to him. He loved Sophie, and that meant he could truly tell her that she was worth being loved. If he played things right today, Sophie might be free by evening. That alone was enough to get him moving, though the clammy feeling of sitting in tepid water was motivation as well. He dried off quickly and dressed in his simplest clothes—a blousy white shirt and a pair of tight black pants. He was aware that the outfit was not his usual flashy style, but he had originally chosen it to show off his best features. Today he chose it because it was something Sophie might approve of. "Now let's see about getting that curse lifted," he muttered to his reflection, and then, with a sense of determination and renewed vigor, he dashed down the stairs.

"Howl, hello," Sophie said. She sounded almost surprised to see him.

She wasn't the only one who was surprised by what she saw. He placed his hands on his hips and had to bite his lips to keep from laughing at the motley crew assembled at his kitchen table. "Good morning, everyone."

"Glad you're home," Sophie murmured, almost too quietly for him to hear. But he did hear, and Calcifer's fire burned just a little bit brighter. _Being in love is going to take a bit of getting used to_.

Markl soon distracted him from his thoughts. "Master Howl, we can keep this dog, can't we?"

Howl couldn't say no to the plea on his apprentice's face, so in answer he turned to Calcifer and said, "The Witch of the Waste and Suliman's dog at my table? What possessed you to let them into my house, Calcifer?"

"I didn't let them in!" the fire demon said, in high dudgeon. "Sophie crash-landed her plane into my face!"

Joy overflowed from him in the form of laughter. Calcifer was so irate, and Sophie so indignant that he'd given away her secret, he simply couldn't help himself. "I knew she'd make a great pilot," he said, and then went over to check the hole she'd left in his castle.

Hopping around outside the hole was something very unusual, even for his house. It was an enchanted scarecrow. In fact, unless he was very much mistaken, it was the missing prince who had been turned into a scarecrow. _I'll have to pay attention, maybe I can figure out how to break his curse and end this war._ "Looks like we have yet another addition to the family." T_here's something interesting here… _"Hmmm… You've got quite the nasty spell on you too, huh?" _I can't quite make out the counter spell… not yet anyway._ "Seems everyone in this family has problems."

"What a handsome man!" the Witch of the Waste said, pulling his attention back to the group at the table. _I can see some things haven't changed._ He felt a brief twinge of unease when he saw she was still obsessed with him, but he quickly shoved it aside. _After all, she's harmless. What can she do to us now?_

He turned around to face them again, feeling his face break into an excited smile. "So! We've got a lot of work to do. We're moving."

"Moving?" Sophie asked uncertainly.

Markl stopped eating long enough to say, "That's good, I'm sick of being stuck out here in the middle of nowhere."

To answer Sophie's unasked questions, Howl said, "Madam Suliman is hot on our trail, so we're going to have to hurry."

He looked back at the scarecrow, and suddenly, he could see it. _Broken by true love's kiss,_ he realized. _But the only lady here is… Sophie._ "I'm afraid your spell is too strong for this move," he said truthfully, but with not one whit of sorrow. "You're going to have to stay behind." _And away from my Sophie._

Once the interloper was gone, he settled down to business. He had meant it when he'd said they needed to hurry; even now, Madam Suliman might be directing her henchmen to destroy their shops in Porthaven or Kingsbury. If that happened before they moved the castle to Market Chipping, he'd be forced to fight, and who knew what would happen to Sophie. "Markl, you come with me. You can watch me draw the runes; it would be a good lesson for you."

"Thanks, Master Howl!" Markl exclaimed, pushing back from the table and jumping to his feet. At the same time, the dog leapt up from his spot on the floor, running around in circles and following Markl around wherever he went. Howl smiled slightly—it seemed Markl had a new friend.

"Sophie, you and the Witch can stay in here. Why don't you push all the furniture to the side of the room so we're ready to go as soon as I'm done?"

"All right, Howl," she agreed and immediately started cleaning the breakfast dishes.

Howl then went outside with his apprentice and his apprentice's dog. The two of them watched quietly from the sidelines as he painstakingly drew the chalk marks on the ground for Calcifer to line up over. When he was done, he surveyed his work critically, knowing the slightest errors here could create disastrous problems when they moved. "There, all done," he said finally. "All right, Calcifer, line her up!"

He waved his arm at the castle and then watched the hulking building move into position over the runes he'd drawn. Even though he'd designed the castle himself, he was still impressed by the sight of the enormous structure heaving itself into place over the spot he'd indicated. Steam billowed out of every chimney, and there were loud creaking noises as the various parts of the castle settled itself into position.

Once Calcifer was in place, he went back inside for the final piece of the spell. Sophie had done exactly has he'd asked; all the furniture was neatly situated around the outside of the room. "You need to get up on the kitchen table," he directed his small family. "No one can actually be standing in the castle except me and Calcifer when I move us."

With a much smaller piece of chalk, he drew matching runes on the floor where the kitchen table had stood less than an hour ago. Once again, he examined the markings, making sure he'd written the magic out correctly. When he was satisfied that he had, he said, "There. That should do it. Sit tight for a second."

_Now for the most important part,_ he thought. He walked over to the hearth, picked up the shovel, and slid it carefully under the glowing ember Calcifer was resting on. "Be gentle with me, please," the fire demon said, sounding quite nervous.

Howl however was completely confident in what he was doing. Without a shimmer of doubt, he stood in the center of his diagram and said, "On my mark." Then he held his arm out beside him and felt the first stirrings of the magic beginning to work. A subtle wind picked up and blew his hair around, but he barely noticed, so concentrated was he on what he was doing.

On cue, Calcifer added his own power to the spell. The typical face of the calm fire demon disappeared, transforming into his true form. The pair blended their magic as they had done many times before, and the house started to change around them. The ceilings lowered first, and he could hear the castle groan slightly from the strain. Their combined magic buzzed around him like static electricity, and he could sense the changes that were happening.

Windows appeared and brick walls were quickly covered with floral wallpaper. Above their heads, the open beams disappeared into a finished ceiling. Two new doors appeared, along with furniture and vases full of flowers. As a final touch, he included an extra bed just off the sitting room for the Witch of the Waste to use as long as she was with them.

Gradually, he felt the magic ease off and he lowered his arm. Everything around them is exactly like the house he'd visited the day before, except for the few changes he'd made to suit their own special needs. Each of his family members wore a slightly different expression, ranging from Markl's amazement to the Witch's now constant placidity.

It was Sophie he was most interested in however, and she seemed to be in shock, still sitting on the table. He blinked, noticing they were all still sitting on the table. "Moving's done," he told them. "You can get down now."

Markl and Heen jumped down and raced circles around the room while he put Calcifer back in his grate. "This is great mater Howl, it's huge!!"

The Witch meanwhile just uttered a variation of her standard line. "Oh, what a pretty fire." Again, Howl felt a slight misgiving. She seemed just as enamored with Calcifer as she was with him; what if she tried to steal him? He didn't dare think what would happen to his castle or Sophie if she succeeded. He himself could survive, though he wouldn't be happy having his heart in her hands.

To bury that unwelcome thought, he looked back at Sophie. She still seemed to be shocked by her new surrounding, unable to believe her own eyes. Finally, she raced to window just in time to see the train roll by, smoke billowing from its stack. _Just like in my dream,_ Howl thought.

"But this is…"

Before she could convince herself that she was imagining things, he stepped in to point out the few changes he'd made. He opened a door on her right that she hadn't noticed and started talking; purposely using phrasing that would confirm this was her old house. "I added on a bathroom since our family seems to keep growing."

Once he had started, he couldn't stop. He left her still examining the new bathroom; he was more interested in the room he'd added on for her. "Come over here Sophie!" he called out, wanting to show her what he'd made for her

She walked slowly, still taking things in. When she was by his side, he opened up the door in front of him, this one leading to a large bedroom with a comfortable feather bed and windows looking out to the grassy lawn beside the house. "I added another bedroom too… Have a look."

Something in heart clenched a little as he watched her explore the bedroom he had designed with her in mind. Her eyes roved over every nook and cranny of the room, taking in the bed and the furnishings. She entered the room slowly, and he watched delightedly as her back straightened a little with each step.

It was the young Sophie who turned to face him, with the exception of her still silver hair. _Beautiful,_ Howl thought briefly. Then he realized she was talking to him.

"Why do you do this?" she asked, her voice full of breathless amazement and something… something he couldn't quite identify.

He leaned casually against the doorframe, feeling completely satisfied with her reaction to his gift. _I'll tell her I did it for her, and the spell will be broken._ "So we'd have a room for you," he said. "Do… you like it?" He couldn't hide the touch of anxiety he felt.

Nor could he completely hide his disappointment when she turned back into an old lady right before his eyes. "Of course," she said, and her voice was scratchy again. "It's perfect for a cleaning lady." Now he recognized the other emotion he'd sensed in her a moment earlier—it was dismay, dismay that someone would go to all this trouble just for her.

_I'd do more for you, if you'd let me. _ "I got you some new clothes too, but you can open them later." As in the dream, he was afraid that if she saw the lovely silks and damasks he'd bought her, she would never believe he loved her as she was, even as a 90 year old woman.

Unable to mask his frustration any longer, he walked away from the room. As soon as he was out of her presence, the tug at his heart from her ring ached, and he couldn't help but call out to her. "Come on Sophie, look at this!" Markl and Heen joined him first, and he opened the back door for them.

"All right, a courtyard!" Markl shouted, and he and Heen immediately claimed the area as theirs to play in.

"That shop's ours too," he said, knowing they probably wouldn't care. Sophie would have, but she hadn't come out of her room yet. _Apparently, she was more impressed than she wanted to let on,_ he thought, slightly cheered.

There was one more thing he hadn't shown Sophie, and now, when everyone else was occupied, was the perfect chance. The pull at his heart had lessened, so he knew Sophie was right behind him. He stepped back into the house and looked up at her as he shut the door. "See that new color on the dial? There's a new portal."

He took a deep breath and turned the dial to magenta and then opened it up. The house was quickly filled with the fragrance of the sweet meadow, and Sophie gasped. "It's a present for you; come see," he entreated, holding his hand out in a gesture for her to go first.

She did, and the quick indrawn breath and soft sound she made were very gratifying. After only a few days with her, he'd learned to identify what all her various sighs and murmurs meant, and this was his favorite. It meant she was happy, content. _I'd give anything just to hear you sound like that for the rest of my life._

"Do you like it?" he asked, already knowing the answer but needing to hear it from her. "It's my secret garden."

"It's incredible," she breathed, gazing around at the hills dotted with pink and blue flowers. "Did you use your magic to make this?"

That Sophie thought him capable of such a feat flattered him tremendously. "Only a little," he said modestly. "Just to make the flowers grow."

Then for a long time, they were quiet, both content to simply enjoy the flowers and the warm sun. He offered her his arm, and they walked together through the tall, grassy fields. He didn't dare look at her, but with each step he could feel her walking grow a little less labored, a little easier. She jumped a brook with all the agility of a young woman, and he knew that they were close, so very close. When the lake was in sight, she dropped his arm and ran to its shore. She was his beautiful, silver-haired dryad again, and watching her, he felt like his whole body was on fire.

She spun around and shouted, "This place is gorgeous Howl, it's like a dream!"

_Yes, just like a dream,_ he thought, but said nothing. Instead, he simply watched her stand by the lake and soak in all the beauty around her, and allowed himself enjoy it with her. The cool lakeside breeze felt good, and the air was redolent with the fragrance of wildflowers and sweet grasses.

All his most important moments had happened here—his first magic, the first spell he'd done correctly on his own, the day his uncle had told him his parents said he could live with him and become a wizard. It had all happened here. And then, almost fifteen years ago, the most important night of his life had taken place here as well.

Thoughts of Calcifer and the bargain he'd struck with him crept into his happy memories, but he quickly shoved them aside. Of all the things not to be thinking about when he was so close to breaking Sophie's curse, his own curse had to top the list. There was no way he could prove to her that she was worth love, despite anything she might do for him, if all he could think about was how much he needed her help.

He shook himself out of his thoughts. "Sophie?" he said quietly, trying to pull her out of her thoughts without startling her. When she turned around to face him, he momentarily lost all ability to speak. _I've never seen her look so… happy,_ he thought.

"It all seems so familiar, yet I know I've never been here before. I feel so at home."

The peace in her voice washed over him, and he forgot all about Calcifer or their curse. He simply held out has hand to her and smiled when she took it. "Come with me."

"Okay," she agreed quietly, and they strolled slowly deeper into the meadow. The castle was far behind them now, the door barely a glint of light in the summer sun.

"Look there," he said, pointing toward a building much closer to them. The cottage looked exactly as it had the last time he'd seen it—weather-beaten and comfortable, looking like it had grown out of the meadow, just like the flowers. The old mill wheel was still turning lazily in the bubbling brook, and he remembered another time when he'd been here and tried to run in place on top of the wheel.

"What a cute cottage!" Sophie said delightedly.

"That was my secret hideaway. I spent a lot of time here by myself when I was young." _Sometimes, to my folly,_ he thought, then forcefully moved on.

"You were alone?" she asked, and he thought he heard a glimmer of concern there for the young boy who had been so lonely that he'd made a very foolish choice…

When he spoke, his tone was matter of fact. He did not want her pity; that was not why he had brought her here. "My uncle, who was a wizard, gave me this place as my private study." He paused for just a moment, hoping she wouldn't understand what he was about to tell her. "And now you can come here whenever you like."

But the sympathetic lady who could hear the glimmers of a lonely boy in his happy story also heard what he wasn't telling her now. He tried to walk down the hill with her, but she stayed where she was, her hand leaving his grip. When he turned around, she was holding both of her hands together in front of her. "What's the matter?"

"It's… You're scaring me. I have this weird feeling that you're going to leave."

He looked quickly at the ring she still wore on her finger and cursed his own forgetfulness. Of course she'd be able to sense the truth behind his words; that was half the point of the ring, to let Calcifer know exactly what he was thinking.

"Howl, tell me what's going on," she demanded. "Please. I don't care if you're a monster."

His first thought was, _How did she know?_ That was followed quickly by, _Does she truly not care?_ A swelling of emotions washed over him then, happiness and regret and disbelief and fear, and over all, through all, was love. _She doesn't care, she doesn't care… She must love me, otherwise she'd never accept me for who I am._

But she had asked him a question, one that needed an answer—an honest answer. "I'm just setting things up so all of you can live a comfortable life, Sophie. With all the flowers you've got in this valley, you could easily open up a flower shop. Right? I'm sure you'd be good at it!" All his enthusiasm for Sophie and her abilities were poured into that one sentence. In his mind, there was nothing Sophie wouldn't be good at—except, perhaps, accepting a compliment.

His eagerness did not rub off on Sophie. "So you are going away," she said, and her sadness ate away at him. The fire he'd felt earlier cooled to barely glowing embers. "Please Howl, I know I can be of help to you…" She paused here long enough for him to think about how true those words were, and then she said something that completely shocked him. "Even though I'm not pretty, and all I'm good at is cleaning."

His reaction was instinctive. "Sophie! Sophie, you're beautiful!" And for the second time that day, she turned back into an old woman right before his eyes. This time he knew what he had done wrong—she didn't need to be told she was beautiful, she needed to believe that she could do something to help him, and he hadn't argued with that at all.

"Well, the nice thing about being old is you've got nothing much to lose."

Howl however felt like he'd lost everything. For one glorious summer hour, he'd thought he'd beaten her curse, and maybe his own as well. Anger at the unfairness of it all welled up inside him, and he struggled to control it before he took it out on Sophie.

Before he could, he heard something in the distance, a sound that did not belong in his peaceful valley. He held up a hand for her to be quiet and not move and looked over his shoulder to see what it was.

When he saw it, the anger he felt a moment ago was given a new direction. "What is that thing doing out here?"

"A battleship?" Sophie asked, confused.

"Still looking for more cities to burn," he muttered bitterly.

"Is it the enemy's, or one of ours?"

The question flamed his anger higher. Hadn't she learned anything in her time with him? "What difference does it make?"

Together, they watched the ship fly directly overhead. "Stupid murderers," he said when he saw the bay full of bombs. "We can't just let them fly off with all those bombs." Finally, there was something he could do with his anger. He ruthlessly ignored all the warnings Calcifer had given him about using his magic in anger, so determined was he to stop their mission. With just a wave of his hand, the ship was crippled.

He knew instantly that Calcifer had been right about using his magic like this. His arm felt… funny, like it wasn't quite a part of him. He glanced down and saw the spiny black feathers that he knew meant he'd taken his magic too far. He'd seen them just the day before when they'd narrowly escaped from Madam Suliman. Not wanting Sophie to realize what he'd done, he tugged his sleeve farther down his arm

"What's happening? What did you do?" Sophie asked when the alarms started going off.

Howl felt no remorse, just a grim satisfaction in stopping these monsters from murdering anyone else. "Just messed with it. It won't crash them," he assured her, though he wouldn't have minded if it had.

He was still trying to hide his arm from her, but she saw it. "Oh! Howl!"

But there wasn't time for her sympathy or recriminations. Dozens of animal-wizards were flying out of the bays that would normally drop bombs, and he knew without a doubt that they were Madam Suliman's henchmen, given a double task to man the ship and take care of Howl if they found him.

"Uh-oh, here they come. Those things are Suliman's henchmen." At last, he felt a brief twinge of compunction for his actions. _I can take care of myself, but I put Sophie in danger too… Just because I couldn't control my anger._

Without giving her time to protest, he grabbed Sophie by the arms and they started running. A crazy sense of déjà vu swept over him, and he realized how similar this was to their first meeting. "Let's go! Faster!" he urged as he pulled her beside him. "We need to take off!"

Before she could protest or even think about what he'd said, his wings appeared and they soared into the air. _So much like that first day…_ They flew together over the lake and the meadow, but he barely spared them a glance. There simply wasn't time if he wanted to get Sophie home safely.

Finally, finally, the door to the castle was almost directly in front of them. "All right, you're going in," he shouted.

"No, don't let go!" Sophie hollered back up at him.

He knew he didn't have any other options however, and when they were lined up with the door, he let her go and flew off without a backwards glance. The wizards weren't after Sophie, it was him they wanted, and that would give him time to draw them away from the castle and her.

For the second time in as many days, he found himself in an air chase. _This time it's your own fault though,_ he admonished himself. _If you'd left well enough alone…_ "But then those bombs could have been used again innocent people…

With the wizards still hot on his trail, he didn't have time to think any further. Yesterday when he'd been chased, it had been near sundown. Today it was the hottest part of the afternoon, and sunset was hours away. He gritted his teeth and readied himself for a long chase.

His best weapon at evading capture was his own knowledge of Ingary. There was no way he could last long flying on his own, so he led his pursuers into the mountain country, weaving in and out of trees and over large boulders. One by one, the trained wizards of Madam Suliman dropped away, either flying into obstacles or simply running out of strength.

At last he was alone—more alone than he'd been in years. He couldn't go home without risking leading Suliman straight to Sophie and Calcifer. He shuddered, thinking what she would do if she got her hands on the fire demon who controlled his heart. Without the ring, he didn't even have Calcifer to keep him company, and Sophie… well, after what she'd seen today, surely she still wouldn't say that she didn't care if he were a monster.

That was the worst of it. He'd ignored Calcifer's warnings for years, continuing to turn into his bird form as it suited him, telling himself that he was in control, not the magic. Today he knew that wasn't the case anymore. And yet, today it was more important than ever that he be able to fly.

A plan was forming in his mind; a dangerous, risky plan, but the one plan that might keep them all alive until after this senseless war was over and they could get back to the business of breaking each others' curses. He would remain in his bird form until the end of the war, flying overhead to ensure no one he cared about was injured. Perhaps he'd ever be able to redirect the bombs falling on houses below.

As soon as he was able, he'd find the scarecrow and take him back to Sophie. He'd let her break the prince's curse, so the prince could go back to his own country and his father would call off the war. And… if Sophie wanted to go with him, he wouldn't stop her. Sophie deserved more than life with a wizard who couldn't even control his own temper.

For a moment, he was tempted to call on the spirits of darkness. Surely losing the only woman he'd ever loved was sufficient reason… But that would definitely give away his location to Madam Suliman, and it wouldn't help his situation at all. Instead, he settled himself high up in a tree, wrapped his wings around him for warmth and comfort, and tried to drift off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Title: **_Hearts Aflame, Chapter 11_

**Summary:** He didn't have a heart, but he loved her, and love always protects.

By mid-afternoon, Howl was more comfortable in his bird form than he'd ever been. In fact, he was almost more comfortable as a bird than he'd been as a human. In the back of his mind he knew that was a danger sign, as was the fact that many of his actions and instincts were becoming more bird-like. He refused to dwell on that though. If everything went according to plan, he'd have the transformed Prince Justin back to Strangia by the morning, and his work would be done.

Besides, the possible fate of being trapped as a bird for the rest of his life was nothing compared to the hell he was living right now. Howl was lonely. The empty hole in his chest didn't burn anymore, it ached. For a man who'd never been attached to any person, the unutterable pain of loneliness was more than he could bear. All day, he'd felt the pull from Sophie's ring, leading him back to Market Chipping. He tried to resist, to stay as far from her as possible, but he just couldn't do it. As the late evening sun faded into twilight, the tug became even more insistent, and he flew towards home.

Along the way, he had to avoid a few henchmen of Madam Suliman who were clearly patrolling for him. Something in his chest twinged, and he knew they had tried to find Sophie and Calcifer as well. He flew a little faster then, forcing the thought from his mind. Instead, he wondered vaguely why Sophie was so desperate to see him again, and allowed himself to hope that perhaps she missed him as much as he had missed her. After a full day of imaging her with the foreign prince, it was comforting to think that she might want his company.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice the reddish haze lighting up the night sky until he was almost home. A series of explosions yanked him forcibly back to reality, and he knew then why Sophie needed him—a warship was flying directly over town, bombing both the houses and shops alike.

His eyes sought out the hat shop, and his gut clenched when he saw Sophie standing outside, staring up at the sky. At that moment, the bay doors on one of the ships opened again, dropping another payload of bombs. He instinctively knew that one of them would land on the shop, destroying it and killing Sophie if he didn't stop it.

In that instant, his vision narrowed, blocking out everything but Sophie and the bomb. He dove for it, desperate to keep it from hitting the shop, not daring to look to see if Sophie was still there. He caught it several feet above the ground, but its momentum was powerful, and instead of stopping it, he was being pulled toward the earth with it. For a moment, he didn't think he was going to make it, but then slowly, almost infinitesimally, the bomb began to slow.

The force of the landing was still enough to stun him a little, and he took his time to rise from the debris. Before he'd completely shaken the ringing out of his ears, he heard Sophie call his name and then she running to him. He wrapped one arm around her to steady himself as much as her, and whispered an apology in her ear. "I'm sorry, Sophie. I should have gotten here sooner." It was true, he should have. He'd felt her calling for him all afternoon, but he'd thought leaving her alone was the right thing to do. If he'd ignored her for a moment longer… he shuddered at the thought and pulled her even closer to him.

Her response broke through his guilt. "You're alive, oh thank goodness!" He heard the catch in her voice, the sob she was holding back. For the first time all day, the ache in his chest blazed into flame—he'd spent the day imagining her with the prince, but maybe she really did care about him.

Before he could say anything more, a familiar prickling on the back of his neck told him they'd been found by Madam Suliman's henchmen. He was glad once again that he had both arms and wings, because he was able to keep Sophie wrapped safely in his arms while he flew them both into the house. Once they were inside, he cast a spell on the door to make sure the slugs were kept firmly on the other side of it.

Markl was on them in an instant, but Howl was more concerned with the very faint glow coming from the fireplace. The connection from Sophie's ring had been so strong that he hadn't noticed Calcifer was getting weaker. "Calcifer, you hang in there," he commanded his friend, using his magic to suck the poison out of the fire demon. Calcifer coughed up something with a strong magical imprint—a listening slug. _So, Madam Suliman did try to worm her way into my castle,_ he realized, feeling even more uneasy.

He looked around, sensing there was something more at work in the room that he hadn't noticed yet. It didn't take long to find; the smoke surrounding the Witch of the Waste matched the same style of the listening slug and what Howl knew about his old teacher. "Tell me," he said, bending over her, "was that cigar a gift from Madam Suliman, by any chance?"

When she blew smoke in his face, he knew he had his answer. The witch he'd left in his castle barely 24 hours ago had not had the personality left for a subtle insult like that. Calcifer spoke from the grate, confirming his suspicions. "Howl, she fed me something gross, I feel sick…" Again, Howl felt guilty for letting his tie to Sophie overshadow the messages he'd been getting from Calcifer. He had felt a little off for most of the afternoon as well, but he hadn't thought to wonder why.

The Witch of the Waste spoke again, pulling his attention back to her. "Why, if it isn't Howl. I think you and I need to have a nice, long, heart to heart chat."

He felt his heart stutter a bit in Calcifer's grasp when she suggested that. She knew he didn't have a heart, the curse she'd sent along with Sophie told him that. Did she know where to find his heart? _No, if she did, we wouldn't be having this conversation. She's taunting me, telling me she's still determined to find my heart and steal it._

"There's nothing I'd like more than that, but right now there's a war going on," he told her smoothly and held out his hand for the cigar.

He felt a moment of relief when she crushed it in his hand, even when that action singed his feathers and sent more smoke into the air. Her next words were so like her old self that all relief vanished. "How unlike you Howl, not running away again."

She gave him a knowing look, and Howl felt like the signed feathers symbolized a loss of the protection his bird form gave him. _But she still doesn't know why I've changed, not really,_ he told himself. Thoughts of Sophie gave him courage, and he returned her gaze with as unaffected an air as possible. "Until later then," he said, sketching a bow before turning his back on her.

Again, Calcifer flickered when his heart skipped a beat, but this time it wasn't from fear, it was from tenderness. Sophie was standing behind him, looking at him with a mix of trust and apprehension. He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders, unable to resist touching her once more. "Stay here," he told her. "Calcifer will protect you from the henchmen. I'll stand guard out front."

There was more he wanted to say, but now was not the time; he certainly didn't want the Witch of the Waste eavesdropping on their conversation the first time he told her he loved her. _There will be a time for that when the war is over,_ he told himself, quite forgetting his earlier intention to let her leave with Prince Justin.

Not sure how long he could keep himself from telling her something, or from simply taking her in his arms, he turned to leave. However, he only made it halfway to the door before her slender arms wrapped around his waist, holding him back. If he was to be honest with himself, it would have been easy for him to slip from her grasp, but being held by Sophie was the sweetest thing he'd ever felt, and he didn't want to let it go.

The next moment brought something even sweeter. "No wait Howl! Don't go out there, it's too dangerous!"

_Ah, she does care! _he thought exultantly. The place where his heart belonged no longer felt empty, even though Calcifer still held that tender organ. It burned, it filled, it burst. More than anything, he wanted to do what she asked… but he couldn't. He made his voice soft when he answered her, wanting her to understand why he had to go. "Another wave is coming, and Calcifer is too weak to stop the bombs."

In answer, she held onto him more desperately. Knowing he would have to leave her in just a moment, Howl allowed himself to stay in her embrace, storing up these few moments to comfort himself with later. "Let's go! Don't fight them, Howl."

For the first time, Howl felt that tension that comes with love, of balancing making your beloved happy with doing what is best for them. If there was a way he could do what she asked and still keep her safe, he'd do it in a heartbeat, but there wasn't. "Sorry," he told her, his voice more gentle yet. "I've had enough running away, Sophie, and now I've got something I want to protect." He hesitated for an instant, knowing this would give him away, but he couldn't stop himself from telling her. Her tear-filled eyes demanded an answer, and he had to give it to her. "It's you."

Her little squeak of surprise was added to his list of favorite Sophie sounds. At the same time, her arms loosened their grip on his waist, and he took the opportunity to fly out the door. He faintly heard her voice calling him back, but he steadfastly ignored it. Right now, keeping her safe was more important than making her happy.

**AN:** Thanks for sticking with me, guys. July was the Month of Harry Potter, so I couldn't concentrate on this long enough to write the next chapter. We're getting close to the end, I think… probably just a few more chapters and then maybe an epilogue.

**AN 2**: This is the second time I've done this scene. My story "Always Protects" examines the same moment, and it was tricky writing the same thing but making it sound different. If you've read the other, let me know if they sound too much alike. Thanks!

**Disclaimer**: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to many people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize comes directly out of the movie. Any dialogue you don't recognize is mine.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** _Hearts Aflame, chapter 12_

**Summary:** _In which Howl realizes why his connection to Sophie is so strong_

**Author's note:** A very insightful reviewer pointed out that Howl has _two_ rings and he only gives Sophie one of them. I've gone back and added a line or two to previous chapters, indicating that.

I've also done extensive editing on the previous chapter. If you read it in the first 12 hours after it was posted, you should definitely check out the New and Improved version.

The battle over Market Chipping raged on, and once again Howl was battling the demon of his own fear. He forced himself to concentrate on the wizards and warships flying around him instead of the village below, because he knew that if he dwelt on the danger Sophie was in, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from giving in to her demands. He'd carry her away from this place and leave the battle—his duty—behind. As tempting as that was, he wanted to prove himself worthy of her love, and that meant standing and fighting for what was right, not running away.

The second wave of bombs he'd told Sophie about started, and for a while he was too busy dodging them to think about Calcifer or Sophie. Any time a bomb came close to the shop, he reached out with magic to redirect it. He could hear Calcifer in his mind, warning him that he was stretching himself very thin. He knew it was dangerous to use magic both to maintain his bird form and to keep them safe, but he ignored the warning. There was no other way to keep Sophie safe, and that was what mattered most.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a spark and a flash of red. He turned his head just in time to see one of the enemy's warships go up in a conflagration that took half the wizards down with it. There was no choice for it but to fly quickly out of the way, momentarily shifting his attention from the shop to his own survival. _Better watch yourself, Howl,_ he thought ruefully. _You won't be much help to Sophie if you die._

He watched the flaming ship for a few moments before a wave of anxiety overwhelmed him. It didn't come from him, which meant it could only have one source: Calcifer. His gaze turned from the battle around him to the hat shop below, and what he saw knocked the air out of his lungs. The little shop was gone, obliterated into nothingness by a bomb he'd missed. _How could I miss that?_ he raged at himself. _It was my job to keep the shop safe, I promised her._ Without a second thought, he flew straight for the shop, hoping against hope that his little family was still alive somehow.

He was half way there when he felt something else. Calcifer was still alive. He was alive, and everyone was alright. He focused hard on what the fire demon was trying to tell him, and finally understood that Sophie had managed to take Calcifer out of the hearth, out of the castle even. She'd done the one thing that would have saved them from being destroyed along with the hat shop. _How did she manage to move Calcifer without me?_ he wondered. _That's not important,_ he chastised himself, getting back to the point at hand. _What is important is that Sophie's safe._

He knew she wanted him to get out of there, to come join them in the Waste. For a moment, he was torn, but in the end he knew what he had to do. Sophie was safe now, but the rest of Market Chipping—the rest of Ingary even—was not. He had the power to keep them safe, and he had the responsibility to do so.

Once again, he turned his thoughts away from Sophie and Calcifer and back to the battle at hand. Reinforcements had arrived for both sides, giving new strength to the warriors who remained. Howl mentally rolled up his sleeves and dug back into the fray, this time without the burden of protecting the hat shop. He was able to choose which wizards to fight and which ones to avoid, now that he knew Sophie's safety did not rest with the outcome of the battle.

In the back of his mind, he was aware of that his own castle was being rebuilt. His connections to Sophie and Calcifer surged, and he knew without asking that Sophie had given Calcifer some part of herself. He panicked momentarily, worrying that she would be bound to the fire demon as he was, but he quickly reminded himself that Sophie was too smart for that. Whatever she'd given him was something she didn't need.

His moment of inattention cost him, for he was soon surrounded by Strangian wizards, intent on capturing one of the King's men. He soared up and then twisted into a dive, but they were still right behind him and another band was in front of him. If he'd been anyone but the wizard Howl, he knew he would have been toast. As it was, it took a series of very complicated spells and flying tricks to get him out of their clutches, and when he was free, he knew the battle was over for him. He didn't have the energy left to fight any longer.

_That was close,_ he thought as he flew gently away from the fray. _Too close, really._ He felt Calcifer's agreement and knew the fire demon was aware of what had just happened. _Well, I just hope I managed to save a few innocent lives…_

All thoughts ceased when a cold sensation filled the cavity in his chest. He shivered, and his entire body felt clammy. The battle forgotten, he followed his connection with Calcifer and Sophie toward the Waste, but before he'd gone very far, he felt a pain such as he'd never known before. It radiated from his chest to fill every crevice of his body. He gasped and freewheeled toward the earth, only managing to pull himself up and land properly at the last moment.

The pain had ebbed slightly, but in its place was a strange emptiness. The soothing presence of Calcifer was almost completely gone from his mind. Before he had time to wonder what that meant, his form morphed so he more closely resembled a bird than a man. He clutched in vain at the place in his chest where his heart should be, but there was nothing but an empty ache. Even when he felt Calcifer in the back of his mind, there was no longer that comforting warmth that belonged to his heart.

Then he knew: Calcifer no longer held his heart. Without that steadying influence, he would quickly lose his own humanity. With what little brain power he had left, he realized the Witch of the Waste must have discovered his heart at last and claimed it for herself.

He took to the air once more, with only one person in mind. Sophie, he had to get to Sophie. He could feel his humanity slipping off of him, but he could still feel the pull of her heart. He followed it and quickly discovered that she was not staying put. He changed his course to match hers, finally ending up at the bottom of a narrow ravine where a door leaned against the solid rock of the cliff.

The door looked familiar, but he couldn't place it. He peered around at the back, craning his neck in an avian fashion. Suddenly he knew, it was the magic door he'd made for his castle. He tried to open it for himself so he could follow her, but his arms and hands had disappeared hours ago. He pecked at it briefly, hoping to be able to grasp the handle with his mouth, but it was in vain. With rising panic, he realized there was no way he could follow Sophie, and without Sophie, there was no way he could return to his true nature.

But it wasn't likely there was another way for her to leave the mountainside. If she'd gone in this way, she had to come out the same way. He settled down to wait for her return, and resisted the urge to preen his feathers. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other and tucked his wings back in behind him. _Hang on, Howl, stay human for just a while longer,_ he told himself. _When Sophie gets back…_

Then there were thoughts—no, memories—flooding his mind. Memories of things long gone, but they were different than anything he'd seen before. He saw himself standing in the meadow beside his cottage, saw himself chasing the falling stars and finally catching one, saw himself trade his heart for a bit of Calcifer's magical power. All this he'd seen before, what was different this time was that he knew he was being watched.

Across the pond, Sophie called out to him. "Howl, Calcifer! It's me, Sophie! I know how to help you now! Find me in the future!" And he had, he'd found her without even realizing he was looking for her that first day. Tonight he'd found her knowing exactly why he needed her, and hoping with his last drop of humanity that she did know how to help him, or all would be lost.

He remembered how she'd disappeared from sight immediately after shouting that at him, and then he went back to the present. If she'd disappeared after that, perhaps she would soon be returning to him. His feathers ruffled in excitement and he shifted again, his eyes boring a hole into the stone wall.

He waited for several long moments, and the longer he waited, the less he understood why he was sitting there. There was something… something about a girl… he couldn't remember exactly who she was, but he knew she was important to him. He tried to hold onto her, but it seemed almost impossible.

And then she was standing in front of him, and something stirred in his chest, ever so slightly. He remembered then that he was a man, not a bird. He'd almost forgotten. She spoke to him, and more memories stirred. "Howl." Howl… that sounded familiar. He held still, waiting to see if she would tell him more. "I'm sorry, did I come too late? I didn't mean to make you wait this long."

Then she kissed him, and he knew he ought to feel something. Somehow he knew he'd been waiting to kiss her for days, but he could feel nothing. All he could do was hold on to what she had given him… his name. Howl… his name was Howl. His name was Howl, and he was a wizard.

She pulled back after just a moment and looked him in the eyes. He saw more of who he was reflected in those eyes, and gradually bits of his life came back to him. "I need you to take me to Calcifer if you can," she told him, her voice soft.

Calcifer. He remembered Calcifer. He nodded; he could do that. He stood up and offered his large talon for her to stand on, and she climbed on with her dog. He took off slowly, and they glided through the pre-dawn mist toward the mountains, where a small platform was creeping over the rocks.

The closer they got to the fire demon, the more Howl remembered of who he really was. Holding onto the bird form became an agony, but he knew he couldn't let go, not when he was carrying Sophie. With one last bit of energy, he landed on the platform with his precious cargo. Then he knew no more.

**AN: **So now you know what I meant by "temporal paradox." Howl didn't have memories of Sophie talking to him and Calcifer because it hadn't happened yet in Sophie's present. Once Sophie could remember telling him, he could remember hearing her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Title:** _Hearts Aflame, chapter 13_

**Summary:** _In which Sophie gives Howl back his heart_

Blackness pressed in around Howl from all sides. He didn't know where he was, he barely knew who he was. The only thing he knew, the only person he was aware of, was Sophie. Sophie would save him from the hideous darkness, he was sure of it.

After an undetermined amount of time, he felt something familiar, something he hadn't felt for hours—a slight kindling in his chest. For the first time, he wanted to move, but he couldn't. His body was in a state of torpor, unable to move, barely able to breathe. Instead, he waited to see what Sophie was going to do. Whatever was happening, he knew it Sophie doing it. No one else had ever had that affect on his heart.

A moment later, his universe turned upside down. First, he felt a burst of magic unlike anything he'd felt in years. Then he was aware of something, a heaviness of some kind that seemed to be pressing him down onto the ground. He moaned in pain and twitched against the sensation.

Gradually, his senses started to come back to him. He could feel them moving, first slowly then even faster. He heard a crack, felt them fly through the air, and then land with a thud. He was vaguely aware that those around him were talking, but he ignored them. It was time to wake up. His chest still ached, but he couldn't lie here all day when their position was clearly so precarious. He cautiously opened his eyes, afraid of being blinded by the sun. When he realized it was dawn, he opened them all the way, groaning again at the pain radiating through his body.

"What's going on? What am I doing here?" he asked, looking around at their surroundings. _Hmmm… We seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place,_ he thought, his sense of humor coming back to him. That didn't answer the most pressing question though. "I feel terrible, like there's a weight on my chest."

He looked to Sophie for his answer, taking in her youthful appearance and her happy, sparkling eyes. "A heart's a heavy burden," she said, and there was something in her voice he'd never heard before. Happiness, peace… no, joy.

He reached up and ran his fingers through her hair, realizing when he did that it was barely shoulder length and silvery. Once again, her beauty took his breath away, and he felt his heart—his heart!—skip a beat. "Wow! Sophie, your hair looks just like starlight. It's beautiful."

Remembering all the other times he'd tried to convince her she was beautiful, he almost flinched, but before he could, a smile spread across her face. "You think so?" she asked and then lunged for him, wrapping her arms around him. "So do I!"

Howl willingly held her close, burying his face in her starlight hair and breathing deeply. She smelled like violets and vanilla and something else, something just… Sophie. Unable to resist a moment longer, he shifted his hands slightly so rested in the small of her back, holding her close, while the other came around under her chin. He lifted her face and held her gaze for a long moment, watching the comprehension enter her eyes before he lowered his lips to hers.

In that moment, all the other women he'd ever kissed ceased to exist. There was no one for him but Sophie, had never been anyone but Sophie. She was his life, his breath, the very beat of his heart. All those thoughts flew threw his mind in an instant, and then there was no thinking, just feeling. He felt the silky strands of her hair slip between his fingers, her delicate curves hold him in place against the platform, and her slender arms move up around his neck. Her lips on his moved slightly, awkwardly at first and then with growing insistence. He obeyed the unspoken command and parted his lips, tracing his tongue along the seam of hers. They opened and he dipped his tongue in for just a taste before pulling back and breaking the kiss gently.

There was something that needed to be said before another moment went by. "I love you, Sophie," he whispered.

Her lovely brown eyes widened and then fluttered closed. "I'd hoped you did," she murmured, snuggling down into his chest, "but I was afraid I asked for too much. I thought maybe once you had your heart back you would remember some girl from before…"

There was only one answer for that. He gently nudged her chin upwards and kissed her again. In their second kiss, he tried to tell her all the things he couldn't find the words to say—that she was the only girl for him, that no one else had ever held his heart the way she did, and no one else ever would.

Apparently, he was successful because when she looked at him again, she was smiling. "I love you too, Howl," she told him, and he would have sworn his heart burst into flames at the words.

He leaned up to kiss her for a third time, but before he could, he heard someone clear their throat and he realized they weren't alone. Sophie realized the same thing, and she blushed red and quickly rolled off of him. Howl got to his feet and pulled her up to stand beside him, keeping her close to him with an arm around her waist.

Prince Justin watched them both, chagrin evident on his face and in the set of his shoulders. "I think it's time I went home," he said.

_His spell could only be broken with a kiss from his true love,_ Howl pondered. _How did he get his own form back? Surely not…_ He glanced over at the Witch of the Waste and shuddered. _So then… _And then he caught the sorrowful look the prince turned to Sophie before climbing onto his stick and hopping off. He knew there were parts to the story that he was missing. How had Sophie been able to break his spell? In the end though it didn't matter, because she was by side and not leaving with Prince Justin.

His thoughts were interrupted by an exclamation from Markl. "Hey! It's Calcifer!"

He looked up quickly saw a spot of light darting toward them. "You didn't have to come back, Calcifer," he told him, though he was glad he had. For a long time the fire demon had been his only friend, and it would have been hard to let him go.

He watched Sophie walk forward and catch him in her hands. "I kinda missed you guys," Calcifer said. "And it looks like it's going to rain."

They all recognized the second statement for the excuse it was, but only Sophie replied. "I missed you too, Calcifer," she said and then placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

Howl watched in amusement as his friend changed colors and went a little googly eyed. After so recently receiving a kiss from Sophie himself, he could completely sympathize.

**AN:** We're almost to the end—the epilogue is all that's left. With that in mind, I want to thank all of you for the wonderful reviews and other compliments you've given me. 100 of you have put this on your favorites list. Many more have asked to get an email when I update, and several of you have also added me to your favorite authors. I had no idea this story would run so long or be so popular when I started it back in March. I just wanted to give a brief insight into Howl's mind. It was your interest and devotion that inspired me to make it something more. Thank you all for encouraging me to be a better writer.


	14. Chapter 14

**Title:** _Hearts Aflame, Epilogue_

**Summary:** _In which Howl and Sophie have their happily ever after_

Howl had trouble sometimes believing the changes in his life. The once filthy castle now sparkled, every floor and surface kept clean. Standing in his study, he could hear the childish laughter of Markl mixing with the happy barks of Heen as they raced around in the yard. Without looking, he knew that the woman who once had been his sworn enemy stood placidly nearby, keeping watch over them.

But the biggest change could not be seen. Turning slightly, he caught sight of Sophie, leaning against the balcony watching the clouds fly by, and the familiar fire burned in his chest again. She was his wife! Even months later, he still found that incredible. That she loved him, he had come to accept; that she was willing to spend her life with him was another matter entirely. He was honest enough to admit that he himself had not changed overmuch in essentials—he was still the same Howl, too concerned with looks and appearance, too determined to save his own hide. He didn't deserve Sophie, but for some reason, she stuck around anyway.

She'd tried to explain it to him once. "You have my heart," she'd told him simply. "I couldn't leave you anymore than you could have left Calcifer." The idea of an exchange of hearts was one he could easily understand, but he still thought he was getting the better end of the deal. Either way, she was here and she was his, just as he belonged to her.

_My true-love hath my heart, and I have his,  
By just exchange one for the other given.  
I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss:  
There never was a bargain better driven.  
His heart in me keeps me and him in one;  
My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides:  
He loves my heart, for once it was his own;  
I cherish his because in me it bides.  
His heart his wound received from my sight;  
My heart was wounded with his wounded heart;  
For as from me on him his hurt did light,  
So still, methought, in me his hurt did smart:  
Both equal hurt, in this change sought our bliss,  
My true love hath my heart and I have his._

_Sir Philip Sidney_

**AN:** This was monstrously hard to write. (Three paragraphs and a quote took me over an hour.) I really think I should have ended it with the previous chapter, but once I'd promised the epilogue… Well, I hope it wasn't too disappointing. I wanted a bit more dialogue, but neither Howl nor Sophie seemed at all inclined to talk.

**Disclaimer**: _Howl's Moving Castle_ belongs to many people—Diana Wynne Jones, Studio Ghibli, Disney/Pixar—none of whom are me. Any dialogue you recognize comes directly out of the movie. Any dialogue you don't recognize is mine.


End file.
